Falling
by Kopiko
Summary: James meets Lily in the most unlikely way. Fires spark between them, but for Lily's case, they are of fury! What's a boy to do especially when there's a new DADA teacher with a strange story hidden and shadows are lurking in Hogwarts! (I've Updated!)
1. The Unexpected Meeting

The Unexpected Meeting  
  
It was perfectly normal for this young man of fifteen to be outside the house on one unusually hot but humid summer day in the suburbs near London. He was outside on the errand of cutting grass, which apparently he had not been doing. Rumpling his very untidy, jet-black hair which stood in all directions, he set down the gardening shears he had in hand. "Here I am on a hot summer day, sweating like a pig and trimming the grass border of a crummy flowerbed like an spinster of an old muggle." He exclaimed despairingly as he brushed the sweat coming to his comely hazel eyes (Muggles are Non-magic people). He adjusted his thick glasses, which was slipping at the bridge of his thin nose. He looked side to side, then towards their old manor. Unfortunately, his mother was looking at him sharply, wanting to know if he really did his job. He sighed resentfully. Outside, this gangly boy seems to be normal but no. He is a wizard fresh from his third year from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He comes from a very old wizarding family, which means he has pure wizard blood in his veins. But right now, he seems like the boy next door cutting grass on his mother's flowerbeds. He looked again to the house and saw none was there. Letting out a frustrated cry, he abandoned his work and deftly climbed the shady and widespread oak tree. He balanced himself in a particularly comfortable branch and laid his back against the cool trunk. A warm soothing breeze made him drowsy and he shut his stormy eyes. How he wished he was playing Quidditch, the most famous game in the Wizarding world (six tall goal posts, four flying balls and fourteen players on broomsticks.) Back at Hogwarts, he was the Seeker of their House: Gryffindor. It was the Seekers job to catch the Snitch (one of the flying balls, least in size but fastest beyond compare) before the other Seeker catches it. And so the boy wished and wished as the warm wind blew about and then his eyes felt like lead. He struggled to keep them open but sleep won the fight and he dropped off. The next time he opened his eyes, he was already on his broomstick with the wind blowing full force on his face. He was two hundred feet above the multitude of Quidditch fans in the colossal stadium and he could see the blurs of his teammates as they furiously battled against the other team. Oh yes. It was the most glorious moment of his life. The International Quidditch Cup. Now, where was the Snitch? Suddenly he spotted a glint of gold at the very bottom of the field. Without any time to waste, he immediately began his dive for the Snitch regardless of the many risks he was taking. One, he might fall of his broom. Not an ordinary broom but the fastest broom ever made for him and only for him. Second, the Snitch might try to change its course and he might end up breaking every bone in his body. Third, the other Seeker might follow him and get the Snitch before him. It was an astounding sight to see! The awe-struck crowd went into violent paroxysms of hysteria as they watched him chanting ever louder for his name. "Potter, Potter, Potter." they shouted as one. The sound throbbed in his ears but he paid them no mind. He was near it! Only 30.20.10 feet away from his goal! Positively, the sound emitted by the crowd could shatter the very walls of which they were surrounded by. As he was about to wrap his hand on the fluttering ball of gold, now his fingers could feel the beating its wings; a strong voice louder than the rest screamed his whole name.  
"JAMES POTTER!!!!!" It said and he woke up from his dream and unfortunately fell from the branch where he was sleeping straight into the mossy and frog-spawn filled pond behind him. Luckily, the pond, murky and slimy though it was, was deep enough so no bone was broken. He swam as quick as he could to the side and gagged water and frogs' eggs. His hands went to the bridge of his nose to adjust his glasses, but met none. Panicking, he fumbled blindly for his glasses. A hand held it out at him and he fitted them on. As his retinas focused, his gaze upward was met by the cold glare of someone. "MUM!!!???" he spat out, sounding rather shocked than grateful to the maternal figure. He was an inch taller than his mother was but he cowered before her. "WHAT WAS KEPT YOU, JAMES POTTER, WHEN I WAS CALLING YOUR NAME FOR THE LAST HOUR?" she screamed so loud it nearly split his eardrums. "I was trimming the grass Mum! I didn't do anything bad!" he replied meekly. "ON A TREE, JAMES? YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY! YOU MOVE AS IF YOUR REAR WAS MADE OF STONE! YOU COULD HAVE BROKEN YOUR NECK! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU_" she yelled at him for what it seemed to be hours already. James however wasn't clearly listening to her sermons of you-are-so-on- and-so-forth and wait-till-your-father-gets-here-lines. Inside he was regretting losing the happiest dream he ever had. But his ears perked up as his mother said: "Now, you must go downtown and see to it that not one item on this list is missing. Don't come home if so. " She ended in a deadly whisper and stalked away. He looked at the list she gave him. About two feet long, cramped and miniscule. He kicked the large stone beside him but only succeeded in stubbing his own foot. Cursing in pain, he wished that a piece of good fortune might come on his way. Sodden, he went upstairs to prepare for a trip downtown.  
  
"Oh for goodness' sake, Petunia! It's only cat hair! There's no need to be hysterical!" Screams and shouts were heard in the adjoining bedrooms of the Evans household at the precise time across London. Clearly, a cat was the cause of the bickering. A young girl of fifteen with a dark copper mane of wavy hair and eloquent emerald eyes was standing before her younger horse- looking sister with a sour face who held out a nightdress decked with black cat hairs. The culprit was purring comfortably against the fluffy bunny slippers of the redhead. "You know as well as I do that I am allergic to animals, Lily!" the younger one argued distastefully. "Get a grip! You're fine now! I don't see you wheezing like an old dog! Do it on your own." The other argued back. "Fine! I wont do it either! It your fault my dress is ruined." Then shut the door in Lily's face. "Fine!" she shouted then stomped downstairs to the inquiring stares of her parents. "You know you should understand Petunia more Lily. She's younger than you and despises animals of all shapes and sizes." Her father pointed out. "Your father is right, Lily." Her mother added. "But she's a pain in the _" "Watch the language!" Both her parents chorused. "Fine! Take her side then! I'm going now. I wont be back until tonight" Lily fumed and strapped her skates then went outside. "Fine! Take her side! I don't care! It isn't as if I only come home for two months in a year! What a bugger!" she mumbled to herself as she hopped on a bus heading towards the city. Noticing the uncomfortable heat, she realized that her hair was untied. Groping for a clip, she remembered she might have forgotten it on her bedside table. So she resorted in tying her hair with her handkerchief. Then she sighed. She might as well stay the whole afternoon hanging in the city than spend the stuffy day with people angry with her. Dropping at a stop several minutes later, she breathed in the city air. The lack of its freshness made her long for the crisp air of her school. She was also not your ordinary girl. She went also to Hogwarts, housed in Gryffindor. It was plain that she also knew of James Potter. In fact, she admired his skills in Quidditch and the brilliance of his mind. "Only a bit. Just an teensy-weensy bit." She reminded herself as her face went warm at the thought of him. He wasn't the one you might think of as handsome, with the untidy hair and bony look. Nevertheless, she liked him even just a bit. But the thing was she knows that he did not know she was existing. As the matter of fact, the four years spent in the same dormitory as he was still had not made him realize that fact. So much for expecting. Besides, she was a bit afraid to approach them. Well he two of them. James Potter and his best friend Sirius Black. For one thing, they were the most popular men in the school, getting at the top of everything but with a certain knack at disregarding rules. Second, they were both from old wizarding families. She was not however, being born from both muggle parents. One thing that made them not that understanding to her own predicament. Trying to fit in with the crowd and finding something to occupy her mind, she went in a large bookstore where it was much cooler. With books she felt much at home rather than in her school or at her own home. Grabbing the nearest one, she pulled up a chair and immersed herself in reading The History of Rome.  
  
"Thank you and come again!" a cheery voice called after him.  
"Yeah, yeah." He muttered back. Squeezing his way outside the establishment he wondered how could muggle people keep up with things. He spent more than four hours just to track down and buys every single item on the frigging list of his mother. Hungry and tired, he decided to go back to his house. But it was no small feat with five bulging paper bags, so the only thing you could see was the view at his side. What the heck! If only he could bewitch the bags to make it as light as a feather then shrink them. Too much wishful thinking. He heaved a great sigh and inched his way to the bus stop.  
  
With an ice cream with her other hand and the book at the other, Lily skated as fast as she could manage. She neglected to have lunch and it was only when she noticed that the bookstore keeper lit the lights that it was late, almost seven in the evening. If only someone reminded her of the time. She regretted being parted away with the book so she bought it along with an ice cream to soothe her growling stomach. She hated the idea to face another night of bickering with Petunia and she closed her eyes to ward of the idea. Unfortunately, she collided hard with a wall and fell against the hard cobblestones of the street. It was then she heard the wall speak. She looked up and met the stony glare of James Potter.  
  
Fortunately, his quick reflexes saved him from the humiliation of falling. Unfortunately, the one who crashed against him was not spared. Then he confronted the negligent 'muggle', as he thought Lily was.  
"What where you're going will you!" he yelled, pouring all his frustrations to the girl. Lily mumbled an apology and stared at her toes instead. "Apologies doesn't cut it! Are you blind?" he said. "I said I'm sorry." She mumbled again but now frowning at him and his rudeness. "Yeah right! Next time try to knock off everything on your way, ok?" he sarcastically retorted and heaped more insults at her. This was too much for Lily. She raised her free hand and slapped it against his cheek. After a moment of silence she burst into tears. "You're being rude you know! It's not as if you're the only one without a problem here! To think I thought you were nice, James Potter, but you are not!" then she ran away. At the mention of his name, he turned to look at the retreating figure of the girl. He wondered how come she recognized him. She was somewhat familiar. He had seen her somewhere. He lightly touched the place where she slapped him. His face felt very much abnormally warm. Only then he remembered how pretty she was, with her fine copper hair and almond-shaped eyes. He shook his head then saw the fallen ice cream and a handkerchief on the cobblestones. He picked the silk cloth and noticed the initials L.E. embroidered there. He smelled up the fragrance of her rose-scented shampoo and once more looked at where the mysterious girl departed. 


	2. Shadows on Hogwarts Express

To the Reader:  
  
I am very sorry if you are not contented by the shortness of the chapter. And to think there was only one chapter! Yes I know that sucks. It was just that my First Quarterly exams were up and I had to study to keep up in my Math. (I really suck at arithmetic. Too bad, too bad.) and Biology. Please be patient with my progress. I'm still a newbie, you know. Also, pardon my mistake. There has been an error. I said fresh from the third year. That was actually fourth year. I'm so sorry! I missed that one.  
  
Anyway, thank you for reading. Please review after reading. I would appreciate it greatly. I still lack sleep so I have to hit the bed early.  
  
Yawn, yawn, yawn. Kopiko  
  
Shadows on Hogwarts Express  
  
Sinking into the bathtub until her eyes were above the above warm water, Lily let herself relax at the privacy she had. A few moments without parents who screamed at you for not arriving early enough to clean the dishes but not worried even at her overly untidy state and an increasingly irritating sister who avoided contact with her as if she had leprosy was sort of paradise. Here she had time to pick up her thoughts.  
  
Lily: "That was an extremely warm homecoming for me! Imagine coming home sullen, hungry and dirty then the moment you open the door your parents yell at you for not coming home for dinner to clean the dishes and when you come near your sister she goes 'Eww, don't touch me. You're gross.' I had to answer back at them, now they are absolutely angry with me. Top it off that when you meet your crush, he finds you at a very embarrassing state and you realize that he is actually one big ass hole. Oh God, just a fantastic last vacation day! ***Sigh*** At least he spoke to me, the very first time he spoke to me. But still, I thought he was nice even though he acts like Peeves especially when he's with Sirius Black. Why didn't I realize that he was overly rude? Why? Why? Why? Hmm. I wish I were at school. At least there are priorities to think about. Speaking about priorities, where did I put my Charms essay? Ah! Yes, yes, in the book. How silly of me to forget. Ow! Great, just great! There's a bruise on my thigh as large as my palm. How unlucky could I get! I think my whole world turned upside down today. Oh, hello Tabby. Here kitty, kitty! Don't scowl! I know you are a pine marten! Silly cat. Out again, messing my life for me? I wonder why you always smell sweet. You look starving. That reminds me I'm starving too. And the water is already cold! God! How long was I in here? I'm all shriveled up like an old prune! Surprising, they had not even knocked at the door to see if I had drowned.  
  
Across London, James was lying eagle spread on his untidy bed strewn with the handkerchief still at hand. Everyone in the house was asleep except for him.  
  
James: " So. Tired. Can't move. Can't believe Mum! As if one day of shopping in a muggle place wasn't enough, she made me wash the dishes. What does she think of me? A house elf? Tch! How thick can she get?! But still, I'm glad mum sent me to that place. L.E.? Who could that be? I'm so sure I've seen here somewhere. Wait a minute. She knew my name. Maybe she's from school or in the neighborhood. Nah. Not from the neighborhood. I don't go out in here. Maybe from the school. And if she's from school, what house? Hufflepuff? No. She's smart, considering that she was carrying a book almost half her weight. Maybe she's from Ravenclaw. How stupid of me not to notice her. Maybe she's new. But she doesn't look like a second year. I think I should've apologized to her instead. And ask her name too. L.E. . Hmm. Lorelei, Lovely, Lavender, Lory, Leigh, Leslie.AAARGGH! Guessing her name won't work. If only I knew her. I think I won't forget the color of her hair. But what if the initials in the handkerchief was not hers but her boyfriend's? I hope not. Seriously. Speaking of, I haven't heard from Sirius for quite some time now. Maybe I should tell him of the girl. Maybe he knows. Nah. He's too preoccupied with other things. He hasn't got anytime for women. Too bad for him, he's good looking and rich with many connections too. I wonder if Pettigrew has a crush. He'd have a hard time asking her for even a date. Remus? Come to think about it, Moony is the one who is closer to women than we are. If he only wasn't that poor and a werewolf too. Who could blame him from being bitten by a werewolf? Speaking of, Padfoot and I could already go with Moony. It's nice to know you're an Animagi when the others aren't. Wish it was full-moon. Then we could go on exploring. O drat! I forgot to pack my Invisibility Cloak. Where's that? Ah! There you are! In you go with my luggage. Argh. So tired. Must sleep. Maybe I'll even dream of her name. Weird. The handkerchief still smells faintly of roses."  
  
In the crowded platforms of the train station, Lily managed to maneuver her luggage. Finally she arrived at the post between platforms 9 and ten wherein the barrier to Platform 9 and three-quarters was disguised as a stone column. The trick to get through was to walk through the seemingly stone passage. But Lily did not walk through as usual. She glanced back behind her and sighed. No one was with her unlike the past three years. Her family was still cold towards her and when her father dropped her at the train station, he did not even said goodbye but just drove away. She gathered her tattered self and went through the barrier. She was a bit early since there was only a thin crowd at the platform. She sullenly tried to heave her luggage bag up but was unsuccessful. A helping hand at last hoisted the bag and she turned to thank her helper.  
  
She was facing Remus Lupin. Great, she thought, Potter's friend. "Thank you," she mumbled and offering her shaking hand. "I'm _"  
  
"Evans, right? Lily Evans?" he smiled rather weakly. He looked awfully haggard with many silver strands in his dark hair. It was noticeable that he had large dark circles framing his eyes and his cheekbones stood prominently, giving him a sickly look. But his smile made up for his ill appearances.  
  
She gaped at him. "How did you know? Why do you know?"  
  
He raised one incredulous eyebrow. "Why not? You're in Gryffindor too, with the same dormitory as I for the last four years. Why not then?"  
  
"But others don't even know me. But why?" she mumbled incoherently.  
  
"Sorry. I did not hear what you said first. Why did you ask why?"  
  
She slapped her forehead comically at asking the question. "Yeah. Right. I know. But some doesn't. Anyway, what an awfully stupid question. Sorry, I'm quite out of it today. Sorry again and thank you." She said rapidly and disappeared into the now thick crowd.  
  
Remus blinked once, then twice. How funny of her to ask why. Then a friendly voice called for his name.  
  
"Moony!!!" two voices actually chorused but sounding as one. With a wide grin, he faced them.  
  
"All right, James? Sirius?" he hailed the two of them. "All right yourself. He's not. Says he had forgotten a name." Sirius nudged James with his elbow.  
  
"Why?" Remus was wondering what have caused James' wakefulness. "Forgotten a player's name? Sorry. Can't help you there. Not much at Quidditch"  
  
Sirius Black snickered at the flushed face of his best friend. "Nah. It was a girl. James met a girl who actually disliked him and now he likes her. Too bad, I don't know girls with names starting with those initials."  
  
"A lot of people don't like James. I've got one in mind. But Severus is not a girl. Come to think of it, I wonder what he looks like when he's a girl?" Remus grinned widely at James.  
  
Sirius chuckled against his own will. Severus Snape was their arch-enemy, especially to James who extremely hated Snivelly, as they called him. It was hard to imagine him being a girl, complete with a shocking pink frilled lace dress (frills that could almost outmatch Sir Nick's, the Gryffindor house ghost who wore outrageously sized neck frills to stabilize his nearly severed head) with a matching ribbon on his greasy hair (Sirius doubted if the ribbon would stay on his greasy hair) gushing and giggling coyly around James. He laughed until his stomach hurt as Remus looked ready to puke, sharing the same thoughts as Sirius.  
  
"I do not like her!" James sounded indignant at the suggestion of him liking an unexplainably hot-tempered girl. "Just plain curious."  
  
"Oh. Of course you're 'just plain curious' as you put it. Not sleeping thinking of names is not a sign of curiosity, Prongs. It's obsession." Remus teased James.  
  
"Anyway, do you know a girl whose name starts with L and E?" James asked, hiding his embarrassment. The image of Lily came instantly. Remus replied. "Copper hair, waist length, quite on the small side, slender with shining green eyes?"  
  
James stood upright and shook Remus. "God, you know her! How did you know her?"  
  
"You'll know a person especially when she has her back at you and if you have lived in the same dormitory with her for three years." He replied coolly but quite surprised at his ignorance of her actual existence.  
  
James turned and saw the back of the mysterious woman. So she was a Gryffindor, he thought. "What's her name?" he whispered to Remus.  
  
"Lily Evans. Nice name, don't you think?" Remus smiled at the enchanted face of his friend and hooking a arm around his neck.  
  
Lily sensed the stare of James and slowly turned around and their eyes met. And her eyes, exquisitely almond shaped with the color of emeralds, rounded with fear and hid in the crowd. She was afraid at the sight that Potter and Black were staring at her. Maybe they would make her pay for slapping him so hard, considering that they would make anyone pay if that anyone would go against them. A frightening prospect. But instead of sneaking shyly away, she raised a defiant copper eyebrow then she stalked away to the coach.  
  
James, who was looking at her, followed when she tried to walk away. He disentangled himself from his friends and followed the elusive redhead. Unfortunately, Pettigrew arrived and greeted him. He greeted him too but when he looked at where Lily had been, she was gone. Instead a most unwelcome figure was standing on the same place as she did.  
  
Severus Snape.  
  
He groaned inwardly. He wasn't up to fighting Snape but he was snarling at him.  
  
"Isn't it our old friend, Snivellus?" Sirius coolly exclaimed. Remus frowned and looked at both at them straight at the eye then shook his head.  
  
"Not yet, James, Sirius. Leave him. No fighting yet. The school term had not even started. We're not allowed to use magic." He whispered hurriedly. And pushed the two to them away. But as they were walking away, Snape said aloud:  
  
"Searching for someone, Potty? I'm sure you cant find her, with that overgrown head of yours."  
  
James retorted bitterly: "At least I have better chances of seeing than you and your slimy nose, Snivelly."  
  
"Don't you think I did not see that redhead? I saw her too. Amazing how low can you go to like a mudblood." He spoke back with scathing tones.  
  
At two quick strides, James reached Severus and shoved the palm of his hand to his nose. Snape fell back and was teary eyed, feeling the broken bridge of his nose.  
  
"Tell you what, Snivel-freak? Being a mudblood is better than to be a DISGUSTING slime ball like you." He hissed with his teeth clenched and threw Snape unceremoniously to the ground, brushing his clothes haughtily and strode away, oblivious to the boy sprawled at the ground cursing with his every breath and the crowd roaring in cheers for the victor of the fight.  
  
Infuriated, James walked to inside the train to find a compartment with his three friends close behind. In his anger, when they closed the compartment door behind them, he shattered the glass panel.  
  
Sirius drew out his wand and muttered: "Reparo." And the glass was good as new. After a long while, there was silence, mainly because James wasn't looking at them. But when he glanced at Sirius and Remus, they were smiling idiotically at him. "What?" he said irritably.  
  
"Never I thought I would see the day James Potter would beat up someone because of a woman." Sirius patted James teasingly on the head.  
  
"You know what Sirius," he muttered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Go to hell." James snapped, much to his friend's delight. But inside, he was thinking deeply, why did he act out so rashly at beating Severus because of the insult he threw towards.what was the girl's name?.oh yeah. Lily. Lily Evans. The train of thoughts switched tracks he savored the unique sound of her name. Unique but very beautiful. Remus leaned and looked thoughtfully on the glass window viewing the countryside. Apparently, he remembered something since he let out a exclaiming shout and jumped on his feet, unfortunately hitting his head on the train ceiling. His three companions looked at him round-eyed. It wasn't like Lupin to be very jumpy. After rubbing his head, he nudged Sirius rather painfully on the rib in his eagerness, much to the other's annoyance.  
  
"Did you notice the way Evans sneaked off James?" he started.  
  
Sirius looked pensive for a while. "I thought she looked afraid and irritated at him. Why?" he asked, interested.  
  
Remus smiled as he whispered hurriedly: "I talked to Evans a bit before you came along. She said something about people not knowing her even if they lived in the same dormitory for four years."  
  
Sirius snickered audibly and James frowned at the two of them.  
  
"Cut out the secrecy will you? Spit it out!" he demanded impatiently.  
  
"Hey James, you really didn't know Evans' name before you asked Moony, did you?" Sirius asked.  
  
"No, of course he didn't. Why would he be asking about her name. You know what James, I could tell she didn't liked her name forgotten. She's quite upset about it even." Lupin added.  
  
"Wha-How did you know?" James blurted out.  
  
Remus retold his conversation with the girl as James listened quite sullenly. After a while, he murmured: "I wish I could apologize to her."  
  
"Why won't you?" Peter spoke, startling them all since they thought he was still asleep. "You know, you could apologize to her. I'm sure she's just inside any compartment." He said.  
  
Before James could answer, all three of his grinning friends hauled him out of their compartment and pushed him before them, looking sideways for Lily's compartment.  
  
Then when they found it, Sirius whispered: "Come on. Apologize. We're just behind here." And then they stood back to see his efforts, trying to keep hidden in the opposite compartment.  
  
James swallowed audibly and he felt his hands go uncomfortably sweaty. With shaky hands, he opened the compartment door and confronted the girl with beautiful copper hair and startling green eyes.  
  
Lily looked up from her book to see who opened their compartment. Seeing James Potter standing with his hands in his pockets and staring haughtily at her, he looked as if she was in for it. Gathering her scattered will, she met his warm amber gaze with one of her eyebrows raised, oblivious to her giggling friends. For a while, there was a thick silence between them.  
  
"What do you want?" she spoke coldly.  
  
James felt that his throat was too dry to make a sound. What was he doing there and what was he about to say. The speech he made earlier in the compartment escaped like a Chocolate Frog in a wide open box. Suddenly he blurted out something he actually did not hear himself causing Lily Evans to narrow her eyes and shut the compartment door in his face while Peter and Sirius were cheering wildly along with some spectators from other compartments. Remus was wryly smiling.  
  
Shaken, his friends had to haul him back to their own compartment. Remus said: "We said apologize to her, not to upset her more."  
  
"What did I say?" he asked, his voice unusually croaky.  
  
Sirius roared more into laughter. "You did not hear yourself, Prongs? God, almost everybody one mile in radius could have heard you loud and clear."  
  
"What did I say?" he almost shouted.  
  
"You said: There's no use in drooling for me, Evans. I'm to good for you." Peter snickered in his robes.  
  
His jaw dropped. "I said that? You're kidding right?" James said.  
  
"Do you think all of us would be laughing like this if we were kidding you?" Remus replied as a cart arrived filled with food. The witch who was pushing the cart asked them if they would like some food.  
  
James took a Cauldron Cake and prodded it with his fork. "I cant believe I said those things to her. For sure she wouldn't speak to me again. Damn it." He told himself while mashing the cake to a pulp on his plate without himself realizing it.  
  
"James?" Peter tapped his shoulder slightly.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Are you sure you want to eat your cauldron cake like that?"  
  
James focused back to his cake which looked sadly like a lump of shit. Not at all appetizing. Cursing softly, he forcefully forked the cake into his mouth. Why was he so agitated? In his irked condition, the icing was haplessly covering his mouth.  
  
Sirius looked at the sullen figure of his best friend. He muttered 'oh boy' under his breath and shook his rather handsome head. It was apparent to him that James was starting to have a crush to that Evans.  
  
Lily huddled in the corner of an empty compartment. The skies were threatening to pour and it was starting to feel cold. She evacuated the compartment where she was once sitting because she was highly irritated by the knowing looks being shot at her by her friends. Alone in the compartment, she stared at the rolling gray clouds. How presumptuous of that Potter to almost say that she was like a dying for him and he was too high for her. She chided silently to herself that it was the price for liking even for a bit someone who was of higher footing than her. It was true, however, that he was too high for her but she did not drool for him. "I Did not, did not, DID NOT!" she said aloud to herself. She gathered the puddle of gray and black fur and cuddled it. She thought to herself that the company of books and animals were much more comforting than the presence of humans, especially the arrogant, cold and obnoxious James Potter. With this thought, cuddled up with her cat, Lily slept in her small corner.  
  
James was restless in his corner, doodling in a piece of parchment. It was all too strange to feel like this. He felt altogether awkward, shy and scared towards Lily with flocks of butterflies in his stomach. The words that he said to her were still bitter in his mouth. He must make amends with her anyhow. He looked at his companions. Sirius was asleep, so was Remus and Pettigrew. It was strange that the cold was making all of them drowsy. He bit his lower lip and walked as cautiously as possible to the compartment door. He almost tripped by Sirius's foot but still they remained asleep. Slowly and carefully, he succeeded in getting out of their compartment. He looked at the other compartments to see where Lily was. He found her at the last compartment, asleep as well and a stray hair wandering to frame her seemingly fragile heart-shaped face. Her lids shut in deep slumber and she looked like an angel more tempting than the devil himself. He entered the compartment and seated himself beside her. He had the urge to brush the stray hair off her face but risking her being awake and her to lash out at him, so he clenched his hands into balls instead at his side. Then the train jerked violently to a stop that he was displaced from his seat. Lily fell from her seat and her head would have hit the floor if not James caught it. She was still fast asleep. A cold sense of dread chilled his blood when she did not wake up. It was all too strange, all of the others were asleep. Why did he not notice it at all? And why wasn't he affected if it was a spell.  
  
"Evans, Evans." He called to Lily but still she did not stir. He lay her down on the couch and moved quickly out. He was on the center aisle when he felt the heavy cold and he immediately felt drowsy. He fell and heard his glasses snap. An imminent shadow was on the very opposite end of the hallway and was approaching him. The lights flickered then shut out and the once gentle cold was already freezing and his eyelids were very, very heavy. He felt weak, so weak he could not move a muscle. The shadow was now standing in front of his crouching figure and took hold of his arm. The grip was icy and steel-like. No sound escaped him. With its grip, it began to draw James's life away from him. He heard an unsheathing of a weapon and the shadow dropped him. It retreated as a slim figure had a curiously designed dagger drawn and charged at it. Unable to resist the drowsiness more, he fell into heavy slumber too, feeling oddly safe now that someone had come to ward the shadow away.  
  
Suddenly, he woke up in a jerk and he was already in their compartment. The sky was darkening. Sirius was shaking him. "James, put on your robes. It's nearly time."  
  
"Wha-" he started and he looked at him.  
  
"You. You're awake?!" he said incredulously at his best friend.  
  
Sirius rapped his head and said "Of course I am. Why shouldn't I be?"  
  
"But the shadow. You were all asleep. You wouldn't even wake up!" he nearly shouted.  
  
Remus looked at him strangely. "We all slept, yes. But we did wake up, you know." He said.  
  
"Maybe you were dreaming." Peter quipped also.  
  
"No way." He whispered to himself. He fumbled for his glasses but found that they were in his pocket rather than on his nose. It was badly snapped in half. Sirius grabbed it away from him.  
  
"Why did you break your glasses? Oculus Reparo." Black frowningly murmured as the spell fixed the glasses.  
  
"I did not. It was broken when I fell down."  
  
"Fell down where?" Now, his best friend was taking him seriously.  
  
"In the center aisle. I'm telling you the truth." James threw his hand into his hair and messed it up.  
  
Pettigrew looked at him and remarked: "What's that?!" pointing at James's forearm.  
  
James looked at his forearm too and he saw that a great black hand-shaped bruise was imprinted on his skin. He may not be dreaming as the others said. The bruise was all too real to ignore. He raised his head and met the worried stares of his friends.  
  
Remus croaked: "What happened? James?"  
  
But James's clear amber eyes were clouded with a sudden chill and foreboding. This was an ill omen. Too ill to ignore. He cannot answer their stares since he himself did not know exactly what happened. 


	3. The New Defense Against the Dark Arts Te...

The New Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor  
  
The sky poured with all its might that night, with the wind howling furiously. Lines upon lines of Second years up entered the Great Hall with four very long tables for the four houses of Hogwarts: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Unfortunately, the First Years who had to cross the lake by tradition were shivering to the bones with cold and fear.  
  
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter sat side by side on the Gryffindor table. James was buried in this own thoughts about the incident, too buried to take notice of the Sorting of the first years. Sirius nudged him when the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, rose from his seat and a congenial smile accompanied the slight twinkling of his eyes behind his half-moon spectacles. James looked at the headmaster and listened at the coming speech.  
  
Dumbledore looked at the students and cleared his throat. "I would like to make some very important announcements before all of you would be befuddled by our feast. The Ministry of Magic had just this summer passed certain curriculums to every school and I have to say that the fifth and seventh years would have to undergo more serious studying since they raised the levels of your O.W.L.'s and N.E.W.T.'s to ensure a more successful future careers for your sake. Unfortunately, your Defense against the Dark Arts mentor, Professor Benningfield, could not carry the load by himself,"  
  
James snickered and whispered in Sirius's ear "About time. He's already antique and is near to becoming prehistoric."  
  
Sirius looked at the Staff table and stared at the said teacher. Professor Benningfield was a feeble and skinny old wizard with glasses sufficient for a ten-wheeler truck's window. He stuffed his knuckles in his mouth to stop it from laughing.  
  
"So I introduce to you your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for the fifth, sixth and seventh years, Professor Lucian Sinclair." Dumbledore continued.  
  
Many heads looked up to see the new teacher. The other teachers also looked about them but saw no one new. It seems everybody was befuddled in this announcement. There were scattered murmurs and whispers in the students that the headmaster rapped his goblet once. The school hushed instantly.  
  
Dumbledore, sensing curiosity, cleared his throat. "Due to inexplicable circumstances, Professor Sinclair is not with us tonight. Not to worry, your new teacher will be with you tomorrow. Might I remind the students that the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds and Mr. Filch would like to say that magic in between classes is not allowed and no one is allowed outside their dormitories when past the curfew. Let the feast begin!" the headmaster finished grandly as hoards of food appeared on the plates.  
  
Feeling suddenly ravenous, James brushed away his thoughts and heaped food on his plate, mindless of the incident, the missing new professor and Lily Evans who glanced at him ever so quickly as he chewed his large piece of steak in the most barbaric way possible, cramming meat, gravy and unfortunately the bone which made him choke hopelessly. And he also missed the gleam of laughter that passed through her eyes as she watched him do that. But still, she chose not to look long as someone might see her.  
  
What had gotten into her, staring at him like that? Lily reprimanded herself as she climbed to the Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory. James Potter, she reminded herself, was the biggest prick she encountered in her whole life. She wanted to bite back at him but she decided that it wasn't the right time since it was evening and all. Morning would be a better time to settle something. Yes, she thought. Morning would be better. Feeling wicked, she settled in her four-poster bed in the girl's dormitory room. But she heard someone whispering.  
  
"Evans? He actually said that to Evans?" a voice hissed from afar.  
  
The other must have nodded an assent as she said "Do you think that she really likes him?"  
  
"Why not? After all, why would James talk to her like that.? Eww. She likes him. What a turn off! She's a geek."  
  
Lily bristled furiously and stomped towards a bed with its curtains closed. With one sweep she opened it and saw the two whisperers in shock to see her.  
  
She smiled sweetly towards them "You are poor creatures, being led to believe a big fat lie like that by some nut-head whom you both obviously like. I don't like him. Severely neurotic mutated retards and autistic people are just not my type. And have you noticed, he also has awful case of hydrocephalus. Look at how big his head his. I just hope you'd change your taste in men. And if ever you want to talk about me, try not to be heard, ok?" She simpered at the both of them, her words dripping with venom and saccharine sweetness.  
  
Lily plopped on her bed and closed the curtains hurriedly. She bit her pillow to fight the scream rising to her mouth. That awful, awful boy! He's going to pay for sure the next morning. She'd see to it that happens.  
  
The next morning, the four of them skipped down to the great hall for breakfast. Rather, only James and Sirius skipped, looking quite foolish and singing a child's nursery rhyme and successfully butchering it. The fragrant scent of bacon lured them into the hall and they sat down and dug in the food. With toast in the mouth, James asked Remus: "What's for today?"  
  
Reaching into his pocket, Lupin produced a small schedule.  
  
Double Potions 9-11  
  
Double History of Magic 12-2 Double Defense Against the Dark Arts 2-4  
  
"What an ungodly schedule!" Sirius scowled.  
  
"Hm. I might say that. Especially, Double Potions with Slytherins." Remus nodded in assent.  
  
Peter groaned inwardly. "Potions, very first thing on the first day of the week and with Slytherins. Oh man."  
  
"Double History of Magic on the hottest hours of the day. I think I'd better keep my eyes open with toothpicks." James groaned too as he sullenly looked at their schedule. "Defense should be able to make up to all this crap."  
  
Catching the flash of red in the corner of his eye, Sirius suddenly shoved James under the table unceremoniously and held him for quite some time there. From under the table, he heard a feminine voice and Sirius's usual drawl. When Sirius let him go, James was bristling.  
  
"What was that for?" he exclaimed.  
  
Sirius pointed with his mouth to someone in front of him.  
  
James followed the direction slowly, filled with sudden dread. He met the knife-like stare of Lily Evans, her foot tapping lightly in front of her. Suddenly, his mouth wouldn't budge a bit though he maintained a cool exterior.  
  
Suddenly, she slammed her hands on the table. "Well. for starters, I'd like to tell you that it is just so impossible to drool over you when your head is like a mile wide. And you were quite mistaken. I'm the one who is too good for an autistic retard namely you." She prodded his chest hard with her finger in every word she said in the last sentence. A lot of students were staring at James hard. Now, he knew the word humiliated.  
  
Sirius glared at some of them and said "What are you looking at?" they looked awfully scared as he looked at them. They dispersed as Remus shooed them to their own business.  
  
"Thanks guys." James slumped on the table. If only he did not say those words to her at the train, maybe they'll do just fine as friends. But no. It was his fault why she was angry at him. But even so that she was furious at him, his curiosity for her was heightened.  
  
Finishing his toast, they walked outside the building to bask in the sun before enduring almost one day shut in the classrooms.  
  
Someone interrupted his mind-wandering suddenly. Looking at his side, it was Sirius.  
  
"A penny for your thoughts." He said.  
  
"It's nothing." James dismissed his best friend's inquiry with a slight flick of his head.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah. Why?"  
  
Sitting on the cool grass, Sirius said to him: "Why do you hide it from us?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You like Evans. Its clear to all of us. It has been only 2 days since you met her and you are struck dumb at the sight of her. Well, not really dumb but awfully weird. Its hardly like you. What do you see in her? I mean, some of the girls who approached you last year were better looking than her."  
  
"I don't like her, Sirius. I was just interested about her, being a muggle and all." James defended himself in an instant. Sirius frowned in disbelief and snorted. "All right. Let's put it that way. You're insatiably interested about Evans. So, why?  
  
James picked a stone and absently skipped it on the lake's surface. "I don't know. Curious maybe."  
  
"Don't give me that crap, James. I know when you are curious and when you aren't." Sirius snorted in disbelief.  
  
"She's different."  
  
"Everyone is different."  
  
"Different from those girls. She hates me." James had a dreamy look on his face now.  
  
Sirius laughed softly. "You are 'interested' in girls who hate you?"  
  
"It's not like that. I mean, all of those girls except Evans judge me by my looks, popularity and stuff like that. She was the only girl next to my mum who actually told me that I am an asshole."  
  
"She didn't say you were an asshole."  
  
"Well, nearly."  
  
Sirius sighed. "So you like her, in short."  
  
James did not answer at his question so Sirius began humming a song in a way to tease him. James did not mind in any way, instead he said: "Nice song. What's that?"  
  
"Complainte De La Butte" Sirius drawled.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"It's French." Sirius told him and James mouthed an 'ah'.  
  
'Aww. They're awfully mushy today. ' Remus thought as he eased himself beside James. "I thought that people had enough of silly love songs."  
  
James grinned and threw himself on the grass. "What do you expect Professor Sinclair to look like?" he wondered openly, changing the topic quickly.  
  
"Probably already an ancient artifact like Prof. Benningfield." Sirius replied.  
  
"Most probably. C'mon. Double Potions is almost due." Remus snapped upright and promptly stood up.  
  
"What's the hurry?" Sirius looked up at him.  
  
"In case you have forgotten, I'm a prefect this year. I'm going for a walk to the dormitory. Want to come and get your things?" Remus dryly answered.  
  
"I don't think so. We'll come to the class on time, don't worry. Why didn't you sit on the prefects' coach yesterday?" James closed his eyes and savored the warm sun as he said this.  
  
"I thought I'd be bored without the rest. Its stuffy to sit there, only the two of you." Remus shrugged and walked away whistling but was thinking of how they were awfully sappy and mushy today, singing of all the things that song.  
  
Double Potions and Double History on a Monday morning was torture for all of them. Even Lupin dropped his heavy eyelids to catch some rest, especially in Binns' class. The heat was stifling and the monotony of their teacher's voice was determined to make the fullest of the word Boredom.  
  
On the corridor to the dungeons, where the new Defense was to be held, they were all yawning widely. Lily, as James observed, was like the rest of them. She read the book rather than to listen to Prof. Binns' soporific voice during the class and now, it took her two hands to cover her yawn. Even so, she still looked delightful to his eye.  
  
The four of them sat on the back most seats and waited in semi-darkness. There were no windows on this room and the candles were few, and even those were blue-flamed. The dungeons were unexpectedly cooler than they expected it to be. A few heads were napping, a lot were chatting, everyone was in disorder, despite what the girl prefect did. Lupin was striding up and down the corridor to see if the teacher was there. A quarter of an hour passed when Remus ran to the back, hissing "They're here!"  
  
Everyone was quiet and shuffled footsteps were heard, one lighter and more quiet than the other. To their surprise, Madame Pomfrey opened the door. They could hear her whispering "Are you sure you want to do this, child?"  
  
The other was hooded and heavily robed. It nodded slightly and coughed. The other cast one last worried look at the strange figure and closed the door after her.  
  
"Is that Professor?" James asked Remus.  
  
"I don't really know. Maybe." He answered.  
  
The teacher removed the hood and raven hair with many streaks of silver fell, shorn crudely in a manly way but long enough so the longest ones would reach the cheek. Cold gray eyes were piercing as they looked from one student to another. The face pointed and too pallid, and altogether much far from what they expected.  
  
Lucian Sinclair was a woman. And she was not even old. She was about their age even! But her eyes showed maturity beyond her years.  
  
She spoke softly but her voice was amplified by the walls. It was like quicksilver and there was no sweetness in it. "I am Professor Sinclair and I am your new teacher in Defense Against the Dark Arts."  
  
Sirius laughed aloud and all eyes turned to him, but Sinclair's was downcast. "You? You're kidding right? You're only as old as we are. Prof. Benningfield is already ancient but he could not even teach us properly."  
  
Some voices laughed out too and there was a lot of whispering.  
  
Remus was silent and was captivated by the silent figure of the teacher, bent as if carrying a burden and strangely grim. He was sorry towards her. Maybe she'll resign and the old one would teach them again. Odd, he didn't want that to happen.  
  
At this, she lifted her head. Amidst the voices, her quiet ones hushed the others. "No, Sirius Black. The headmaster assigned me as your teacher personally. And as for age, there are things that you must never decide based on that fact. I am older than you think I am. Please take your seat and we shall begin our lesson."  
  
"How will you teach us then?" Sirius haughtily asked her and ignoring her two last statements, but James was surprised how did she know Sirius' name.  
  
"It is my problem and not your own." Her voice by now was stabbing. "And Mister Black, if you really doubt me, please raise your hand to the wall behind you."  
  
Sirius took this as another joke and raised it lazily against the wall.  
  
In one fluid movement, without even aiming, she removed one hand from her robes and made a throwing motion with not much effort. There were seven consecutive dull sounds of something embedding itself on the wall.  
  
Sirius looked at his hand and saw five nine-inch knives dead center between the spaces of his fingers and two pinning his sleeve of the robe of his forearm on both sides. As Sinclair removed the knives on the wall, he commended loudly : "How did you do that? A charm? That was a great hit!" He said this coolly but he was already frozen inside.  
  
She sniffed at the air and caught a familiar scent: the scent of fear. He was now afraid. He knew that he had come across a frightening enemy. There was no smile in her face as she replied: "No, Mister Black. It was not a great hit. I am not feeling well. It was so stupid of me that I missed. And I used a charm, you'd probably bleeding to death by now."  
  
Sirius' eyes widened and his heartbeat became erratic. Cold sweat beaded his forehead and his arm that was her target once was twitching uncontrollably.  
  
Every one in the class was quiet and greatly fearful and they much visibly respected her from then on. She removed her cloak and even through the cloth of her long-sleeved white shirt, her emaciated frame was visible. She drew from her pocket a thin gray wand and twirled it as she spoke.  
  
"To know your enemy is to win the duel. In my subject, we are supposed to know how to defend ourselves from any form of the dark arts. In your first year to the second, you are taught the basic principles of protecting yourselves. From the third to fourth, the several dark arts creatures. You are exceedingly late on tackling the curses. This is very disappointing, since the most common form of the dark arts used is the curses. In a duel, you do not expect your enemy to argue with you on how right you are or that he would throw a gryndilow on your face. If you believe in that, you will not last long for more than, let say, 5 seconds in a real fight, unless your enemy would like to torture you by letting you live but experiencing a great pain for a short time before killing you. One flick of the hand," she said as she paused on a particularly inattentive student. She pointed her wand on the center of his forehead and his eyes went wide and fearful, just like Sirius's a few moments ago. "And you are dead. Just like that."  
  
"But people, to die as instantly like that is a very blessed way to die, in comparison to those who died because of the dark arts. Some are most unfortunately to die after experiencing pain. Pain so great for so long a time, they would beg for death by then. They die because their bodies could not stand more of it and their spirits are as good us dead. Remember, there are more ways to suffer other than dying. Much worse than dying only. There are already shadows growing and you must protect yourselves. If you want to protect yourselves, stay on this class. Those with objections on our chosen topic, raise your hand and you may leave the room. The two doors are wide open. Or rather, I would leave the room and you are left without knowledge of anything to defend yourself. Anyone?" she finished.  
  
All of them did not raise their hands but rather looked meekly at their desks as if they the desks had become so suddenly interesting.  
  
"Good. Now, in your year we would tackle as much of the basic counters for hexes, curses and jinxes as we could. To learn the, we have to study the hex or curse associated with it. This is due to the fact that you would be able to perform the right counter for them, since the wrong counter- curse would do no good for you. But as long as you are in this institution, you are not to perform any of the dark arts you are to be acquainted with. Do I make myself clear?" she asked the terrified students.  
  
James was listening intently to her but decided to ignore the part of not doing the hexes and jinxes. What fun would learning those be if you would not perform them. By the seriousness of her voice and the topic they were to take up, he knew they were in for some interesting years, if she did stay long enough.  
  
"You are allowed to do whatever you want in my class. Eat, drink, sleep, do other homework, but I expect from you that the moment I call out your name you will be able to answer correctly and quickly. I do not give homework or tests, only your OWLS or the year-end exams. But instead I shall be grading each of you on how you execute the spells. Right now, at the beginning of your year, you have a flat 100. The challenge for you all is to maintain that grade as much as possible. Every mistake you make will be subtracted from your grade. Within this class you are not to open your Defense books. You are to learn by listening to the discussion since books may only lead to confusing the student by its numerous rules. Now class," she paused, taking her breath. "You may go."  
  
Lily was surprised by the enormous change in everything. From the female teacher to her rules. As If a student would want to do anything else in her class if she demanded all their attention to learn. From afar, a fellow Gryffindor saw Lily.  
  
"Over here, Lily!" she said as she spotted the smiling copper-head Lily from the crowd.  
  
"Why? What's the matter?" Lily was wondering why did she wanted to talk to her  
  
"Say, Lily. What do you think about Professor? She seems awfully sad and cold to me, mean too. Especially they way she threatened Black a while ago. But she talks as if she knows the Dark Arts so well, even though she looks our age only." The other said as they hurried to the dormitory.  
  
Lily smiled at this. "What are you saying? She's the best thing that ever happened to me since vacation."  
  
Lily's friend gaped at the figure crawling through the portrait. The thing she said was all too weird.  
  
A/N: To those who want to know what Complainte De La Butte is, try to listen to the Moulin Rouge OST, sung by Mr. Wainright. It's not mine so please don't sue me! The lyrics are below. Try to listen to it! It's very nice!  
  
La lune trop blême  
  
Pose un diadème  
  
Sur tes cheveux roux  
  
La lune trop rousse  
  
De gloire éclabousse  
  
Ton jupon plein trous  
  
La lune trop pâle  
  
Caresse l'opale  
  
De tes yeux blasés  
  
Princesse de la rue  
  
Soit la bienvenue  
  
Dans mon coeur blessé  
  
The stairways up to la butte  
  
Can make the wretched sigh  
  
While windmill wings  
  
Of the moulin  
  
Shelter you and I  
  
Petite mandigotte  
  
Je sens ta menotte  
  
Qui cherche ma main  
  
Je sens ta poitrine  
  
Et ta taille fine  
  
J'oublie mon chagrin  
  
Je sens sur tes lèvres  
  
Une odeur de fièvre  
  
De gosse mal nourrie  
  
Et sous ta caresse  
  
Je sens une ivresse  
  
Qui m'anéantit  
  
The stairways up to la butte  
  
Can make the wretched sigh  
  
While windmill wings  
  
Of the moulin  
  
Shelter you and I  
  
Mais voilà qu'elle trotte  
  
La lune qu'il flotte  
  
La princesse aussi  
  
La la la la la  
  
La la la la la  
  
Mon rêve évanoui  
  
Les escaliers de la butte  
  
Sont durs aux miséreux  
  
Les ailes des moulins  
  
Protègent les amoureux 


	4. Jealousy Bites James

Jealousy bites James  
  
Exactly, why did she say that? Was Professor Sinclair actually the best thing that happened to her since the last day of vacation? Lily was staring at the canopy of her four-poster bed in the dormitory. She couldn't sleep, thinking all the while of the way the teacher did to earn the respect of her students.  
  
With a smile, she rolled over. Of course, she was pleased. Now, at least if Black or that idiot Potter wanted to play tricks on her, she got a teacher to tell their deed to. She could tell by the look of Black's face that afternoon that he was frightened by the professor.  
  
Feeling safe, Lily rolled on her stomach to catch some sleep.  
  
"Great. Just great." Sirius muttered sullenly under his breath. It was weekend and what was supposed to be a clear and sunny sky was pouring and sodden. Highly unfit for Quidditch which was what they were planning to do that Saturday. Behind him, Peter let out a silent sigh of relief, thinking that he was spared from being off the ground for now.  
  
James, as sullen as Sirius was, began furiously messing up his hair. "Are we allowed to have a break form our studies? Damn it! Just as I was looking forward to relaxing myself." He was kicking the unsuspecting stone wall to vent out his frustration.  
  
The first week was hell. Almost every teacher gave them homework for the weekend. And now, as if the sky wanted them to do nothing but study inside the dreary halls.  
  
"What are we supposed to do now?" Peter quipped quite cheerfully.  
  
"I don't know. The rain is heavy. Want to go to for a Butterbeer?" Sirius asked Remus, but not quite hopeful since he knew what he was going o answer.  
  
Remus heaved a sigh. "Just buy me one. I'm going to finish homework." He said without interest.  
  
"What? Study? We've been studying for a whole week now! Doing nothing else but eat, sleep and more studying. Give it a break, Moony." James nudged the other, disappointed from what he said.  
  
"Nah. I'm sorry. But go ahead, enjoy yourselves. I'm prepared to face the books until I'm all shriveled up and my brain looks worse than a raisin." He kidded, but seeing their horrified faces, he said quickly: "I was only kidding, for goodness' sake! Go on, I'll be fine. Prefect's responsibilities." He assured them and shooed them to the statue of a witch that was beside them. It was an entrance leading to the Hogsmeade, the only existing complete Wizard settlement in Britain.  
  
"Aw, Moony. You're no fun!" James bawled childishly as he squeezed himself behind the witch.  
  
"You'll end up Head Boy if you're always like that." Sirius added distastefully. He shuddered comically then disappeared in the passage. The witch moved to its original place and left only Remus at the corridor.  
  
Remus trudged slowly to the library. Being a Prefect sucked, though he did not want to admit it to many people. Maybe he'd only act his part.  
  
He took out of his pocket his list of homework and began searching in the vast collection of the Library the books he wanted, sighing as he went along. But as he reached the Defense against the Dark Arts section, he saw the short stature of Lily Evans.  
  
She was jumping for a book out of her reach, being quite short. At one attempt, she almost moved the book out of its place. But still it remained there. She stuck her tongue out as she made her best attempt on tiptoes to reach the book.  
  
"Need any help again, Evans?" Remus spoke helpfully which only startled Lily and gave a little shout.  
  
And in an instant, Madame Pince was there swooping down like a vulture around its meal. "What's the noise all about?" she demanded sharply, peering at the both of them with narrowed eyes.  
  
"I. ah. uh." Remus stuttered nervously, running in his mind that he was supposed to be a Prefect, for goodness' sake! He should say something!  
  
"I. I saw a spider Ma'am. From the shelf."." Lily quipped from behind him, though awfully lame her excuse was. When she saw the eyes slit more, she added "A big one, and hairy. Gave me a fright. But I'm alright. It's nothing." She laughed weakly to add credibility to what she said.  
  
Madame Pince shuffled towards them and looked at her precious books then back at them. Fortunately, the librarian stalked away muttering awfully like "If I caught you again making noise, I'll."  
  
Both of them sighed in chorus. At least the worst was over.  
  
"Need any help?" Remus asked again to Lily as soon that the nuisance was out of earshot.  
  
"Wha-oh yeah. That book. To the right." Lily pointed as he reached effortlessly for the heavy book. "Gee, thanks. Sorry if I bothered you"  
  
"I don't mind. More books?" he said.  
  
She shook her head. "Those will be fine." She replied, pointing to a large stack of books to a nearby table.  
  
"Why all those books?" Remus was surprised himself at the number of books in the pile, all about DADA.  
  
"Well, I'm quite poor at hexes so I want to catch up with extra reading." She answered as she opened the books one by one and leafed for her topic. "And I'm stuck with the new lesson. Don't you have anything to do?" When he shook his head, she beamed. "That's good. Can you help me? I'll plead nicely if you want." She added, which caused him to smile back at her.  
  
"Sure. Mmm. ! Tadaah!" He finished happily and waved the exercises at her face.  
  
"That's weird. It takes me 10 minutes to finish an exercise like that." She peered up to his eyes with a frown on her brow. "You sure you're human?" she told him.  
  
Remus, at this question, backed away for a bit, fearing that she might suspect something or was already suspecting something about his identity at the sound of her question, thinking that she was serious all the while.  
  
"Just kidding." She laughed softly at his face then leaned at her own seat. Her smile brought relief to him that she knew nothing.yet. "Can you do some of these?" she asked as she submerged herself into reading one book, glancing all the while at his solution. "I'll make a bargain. Teach me these hexes, I'll answer one of yours. What's your weak spot?  
  
He flashed a one sided smile at her "Potions. You're awfully good there in exception to Charms, I've seen you do them. Not one potion imperfect. I tend to get shakes when I cook my brew. And I forget sometimes what I have to add."  
  
"Want help for your essay? I could do it. Just teach me. It's a bargain." she offered while nudging him with her elbow.  
  
"Ok." He flipped open the book she gave him. As he opened the book, he nearly laughed. The title read: How to Spot Werewolves correctly.  
  
"Oh! Sorry! Wrong book." She shoved a heavier book at him and beamed again at him. After doing the draft for the Potions essay, she stuck the quill back on her ink bottle and stared pensively at the draft.  
  
"Did you notice by anyway," she started and looked at him with a smile "that your first and last name have actually something in common?"  
  
"No. Why?" he replied briefly and off-handedly.  
  
"They are connected to the wolf." She said with interest and Remus suddenly glared at her.  
  
"How's that?" he asked, now suspicious of what she knew.  
  
"I'm not really saying that you are some crook, like a wolf is. But Remus is the name of one of the founders of Rome alongside with his twin Romulus. Myth has it that they were suckled as infants by a female wolf. The Canis Lupus is the Latin name for the feral wolf. Weird, isn't it?" she lightly added and resumed to add more sentences to the draft.  
  
"You read too much." Lupin drawled and shook his head. She knew nothing, of course.  
  
"But if you were a wolf, I'd still like to befriend you. You seem a nice sort of guy." She patted him then continued on with her work.  
  
"You read waaay too much. But thanks for the compliment." He flashed his wry smile at her. One more small hint that he was a werewolf, she would figure out about that.  
  
"Finished!" Lily gleefully smiled as she finished the draft of his Potions essay.  
  
He looked at the parchment she was waving and he couldn't help but smile again. It was longer than what he expected and he could tell she really put something in it. She was a very nice and friendly after all, unlike what James or Sirius or Peter would say about her. "That's kind of you. Say, why won't you teach me some Potions stuff in the common room after dinner so at least I'd fare better?"  
  
She scrunched her forehead and pouted a little but then she nodded her yes. "I'd teach you Potions, you teach me Defense. Deal?" she bargained again.  
  
He sighed happily inwardly. He'd pass the OWLS after all. That was some relief.  
  
"But why won't you ask Potter or Black instead of me? You're closer to them than me." She wondered aloud.  
  
"James and Sirius are always up to something every night. Up to some mischief." He admitted to her.  
  
"I see." She nodded thoughtfully. "Sometimes I wonder why those two always stick together. They are frightfully alike and inseparable. Like two peas in a pod and two halves of a fruit."  
  
"I suppose they knew each other already before they went in here. You know, the old wizarding family stuff. They are tightly knit. Most especially Sirius's." he explained after some time.  
  
"Yes. Black is already an ancient house. But it surprises me how he didn't end up in Slytherin." She added.  
  
"No way! Sirius hates the Dark Arts to the extent he almost hates his family who support the Dark Arts. James hates that as much -no! More than Sirius does." He told her quickly. "That's why James hates Snape also."  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought he just hates Snape's hair. Unlike his, Snape's hair hangs down on his face all the time. Kind of reminds me of rags oftentimes." She laughed softly.  
  
Lupin laughed with her too. She was really nice. Somehow he'd like her to be his younger sister in some sort of way. After all, he didn't have any siblings too. If he had a sister, she and Lily would go along well, just as she with him. Lucky for James if he will ever have her as a girlfriend. But he knew that Lily would like someone settled down, not adventurous, someone ummm. placid. Very placid. James was the exact opposite of what he thinks she'd like.  
  
"What do you say if I call you with your first name. Is it all right to you?" Remus asked her.  
  
She was packing her things as he said this. But she nodded quickly and held out her hand. "Want to go to Lunch? I bet you're hungry." She invited him warmly.  
  
Remus could tell they would be very close friends. But inside he hoped that she wouldn't draw away from him if she knew he was half-wolf.  
  
It was already night when James, Sirius and Peter returned to the school. Luckily they were not missed. While walking, James struck his head with his hand.  
  
"What is it?" Sirius asked him.  
  
"I forgot to bring Remus a Butterbeer." He kept slapping his forehead.  
  
"He'd understand, James. Stop doing that with your head. You look ridiculous. I'm starving. Want dinner at the hall?" Sirius said.  
  
"I guess not. Go and have dinner. I have to change my socks. They're soaking wet." James showed his sodden foot.  
  
With a shrug, Peter and Sirius went to the Great Hall for their dinner.  
  
In reality, James only wanted to see if Lily was in the common room. Why did he want to? He did not really know himself. But as he entered, he saw her copper head near the fireplace instantly but it was bent with another head also bent close beside it. He frowned deeply and strode to the brown head. He cleared his throat aloud and to his surprise, it was Remus who was sitting beside Lily. Beside Lily, For god's sake!  
  
"Hey, James." He greeted him warmly.  
  
With the name James, Lily's back stiffened instantly and shut her eyes. It wasn't Potter, she hoped. She wished it was another James. But not James Potter.  
  
But it was. "Remus? What are you doing with that girl?" he pointed out to her as if she was another piece of furniture or pet.  
  
"She's teaching me Potions. Want to join us?" Remus asked him lightly.  
  
James laughed out. "With her? With a girl?" he drawled in a mock disgust tone.  
  
Lily thought viciously 'James Potter is undoubtedly the biggest Male Chauvinist with the capital letters M and C and the article THE.' She snapped at him. "What do you want, anyway?"  
  
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." He said with a big grin plastered on his face which only succeeded to irritate her further. But he wanted to be beside her instead of Remus. And why was he acting so stupidly to anger her more?  
  
She rolled her eyes upward. "Yeah right.' She spat and strode away with her noted haphazardly crammed in her Potions book. "Tomorrow night again, Remus?"  
  
James felt stabbed in the chest. Remus? So they were already in first name basis? And tomorrow night? Again? It was more than he could stand. But he kept silent.  
  
"Yeah. Night, Lily." Remus replied and looked at his notes taking no notice of James.  
  
James was more than flabbergasted. Trauma was more likely. His jaw was hanging to the extent that it was almost unhinged. He didn't realize that Remus was already waving his hand up and down in front of him.  
  
"James? You in there, James? Hello." Remus said to him. Maybe it was a bad idea to let Lily teach him Potions, considering that he liked her a lot but did the opposite when she was around. But they had a bargain and she would be mad towards him. And Lily was frightening if you were here enemy. She could have the sharpest tongue in the whole school, Remus remembered the way she humiliated James earlier that week. Heaven forbid.  
  
Sirius entered followed by Peter. They caught sight of the dumbstruck James Potter. "What happened?" Peter asked.  
  
Remus shrugged. "Shock?" he suggested but was sure it was the answer.  
  
"Remus!" Lily waved enthusiastically to her now best friend. More than best friends since they treated each other more like siblings. It was already some months after they began the bargain. She was glad that they did make a bargain. OWL preparations were so hard that they had to do extra studying. And if he did not teach her Defense, she was sure her grade was now below passing.  
  
Professor Sinclair's lessons were fascinating and practical. And definitely horrifying. Especially the curses. Every curse she introduces to them would bound to mutilate, bring eventual death or something of the like. She performs them to grotesquely enlarged slugs. All of the slugs were dead by the end of the lesson. But the most frightening ones that she performed lately were bound to leave the slugs in a most horrible state worse than dead. They were alive-ish. Lily wouldn't dream of them being performed to humans. Many of her students began having nightmares of dying slugs. And those who went to Hogsmeade did not dare to eat Jelly Slugs. And if they did see a lower year eating one, they would be dreadfully hysteric. But Professor Sinclair fortunately did not perform any of the curses to the students, maybe only mild hexes. They knew they were in for a curse when they see her with a bottle of slugs on the table. As for the counter-curses, she performed them with astounding ease. But when it was their turn to perform, almost all of them would fail. Sirius, Remus and James were the only ones who could perform them only after several trials. Professor Sinclair was right. It was harder to maintain a grade than to gain it. With Remus' help, Lily managed to do the counter- curses.  
  
Remus was beside her in a moment. It was a chilly October afternoon and the leaves were beginning to shed their leaves. They sat in a large maple tree near the lake where almost no one was around.  
  
"Are you ok? You seemed out of it today. And you look awful." She said with concern in her voice.  
  
He smiled weakly. It was nearly full moon, since the end of the month was nearing. He did look horrible. "No. I'm all right. Mum's not. She's having a sick spell again. I think I have to leave again for some time to be with her." He lied to her. He hated lying to her but it was better for her not to know  
  
She said nothing. She was suspicious and worried about his monthly absences. "Are you going to be gone for long again?" she asked.  
  
"Maybe a week or so." He replied. He was flipping his Defense book with a red and green bookmark so he'd know where they did stop the evening before.  
  
"Is Potter still cold towards you?" she asked quietly then chewed her lower lip. James was cold towards Lupin since the bargain began, so they seemed to be only acquaintances rather than the close friends they were before. He was sad about it and she was really guilty at how their friendship was ruined. "I still don't know why he's cold towards you. Is it me?" she bit her lip sharply.  
  
"Yes and no. Yes he's cold but no. Not because of you. I told you a thousand times before. Don't be too guilty about it all right? " He patted her back.  
  
She felt better and smiled then leaned on his shoulder momentarily. She opened her own Potions book and was about to instruct Remus when James arrived beside her.  
  
They had become sharp enemies, Lily and he. They occasionally had a verbal fight but he did not lift a finger against her nor against Lupin who stood quietly aside as they fought. But still Lily was afraid. He had a habit of hexing and jinxing anyone who displeases him. And she did not want to receive his hexes though she knew some counters.  
  
James had some strange feeling each time he saw she and Remus together. It wanted him to be bitter towards Lupin. But it wasn't Remus' fault, so he contented himself on being cold towards him. He raised his eyebrow to her through his eyeglasses. "Getting sweet, aren't we Evans?"  
  
"Stop sticking your nose into our business, Potter. And leave us alone!" She retorted.  
  
"Unfortunately, you cant do anything about it. It just strikes me how sweet you two can be. I know you only stick to him so that I'd be jealous and I'd be groveling for you since it is me you really want to have your first kiss." James said. But inside he was beating himself up. Why did he say that? It was so stupid. Why? That was so insanely and fucking idiotic.  
  
"How dare you assume-" she muttered under her breath. She curled her hands into fists. She had an adequate reason to slap him soundly again. "You think you are so all mighty and powerful and every girl wants you badly. I'll tell you what, Potter," she spat bitterly "I am not the bitchy slut you think of me and I will kiss whomever I want to." And in her anger, she did what no one thought she would do.  
  
Lily Evans kissed Remus Lupin in front of James Potter.  
  
It wasn't really a kiss but a mere three-second meeting of closed lips. Nothing more than that. No passion or anything. Just like that, as if they were actors in a play and the director required them to kiss. So it was not a kiss. But she made it look that it was the real thing. Remus was too shocked to react. But he knew that she did it only as revenge and she was forced to do it. So he didn't draw away.  
  
But the kiss had a certain effect on James. It was a severe blow to him. Now he was so jealous of Remus. The air inside his stomach was punched out and his chest tightened at the sight of the two of them sharing a kiss and there was something inside of him that kept clawing painfully. It hurt, for short.  
  
Lily, realizing what she did, broke into a run towards the school. It also hurt her. No matter what he said, it so ever so strangely hurt her inwardly too. Remus soon caught up with her.  
  
She was looking at her feet and her cheeks burning in shame. She didn't want to face him nor James. "I'm so sorry Remus.I didn't.not actually." she stammered nervously.  
  
Remus placed a hand on her shoulder so that she stopped speaking and walking. "Listen Lily. I know you did it out of revenge. I swear that I would forget about it and if I do remember it, treat it as an accident or a friendly kiss of siblings. Nothing more. Now, breathe deeply and don't cry!" he almost laughed softly as she began crying "for goodness' sake! You look all red and splotchy in a funny sort of way."  
  
Though in tears, she managed to smile back at him and whispered "Thank you." And she held the hand on her shoulder in her own, tears flowing still.  
  
After that, Remus and James seemed more distant than ever. Lily was saddened. She wanted to bring them back as the close friends they once were. Sirius still spoke to Remus in a friendly way but Peter did not. Sirius treated her coldly too, James and Peter more. For Lily's sake, Remus did not mind it too much, instead he was more fond of her.  
  
One morning, Remus woke up earlier than usual. Something bothered him. So he took a bath and dressed then walked to the Great Hall. No one was up yet. But there were voices as he went nearer. The Head Boy and Girl, the faculty and the headmaster surrounded Peeves. One of the glass of the giant windows was turned into fine powder which was scattered thoroughly in the hall. He asked the Head Girl what happened.  
  
"Didn't you hear? Peeves saw another ghost, a woman, walking in here. He thought it was a student first but it kept walking and walking towards the window and as she touched it, it turned into dust then a wind scattered the dust. When the wind died, she was gone." She replied. This was very weird since all ghosts that were in the school were not at all that violent, in exception of course of the said poltergeist.  
  
A wind blew mildly from the window and sent shivers down his spine. Then suddenly the image of Professor Sinclair came in mind. Why? He did not know. Maybe she would be able to explain something about what happened. He scanned his surroundings for her but she wasn't to be found. A voice in his head said that she might be involved in this. Might be, he thought to himself.  
  
"Peeves, what did she look like? The ghost?" he asked the smugly smiling poltergeist, as if pleased by the attention he got.  
  
"Oh her? She was very beautiful, that lady. With her long hair trailing down to her waist." He replied.  
  
Remus dismissed his thoughts of the professor being involved. She did not have long hair, but quite the opposite. It would be fairly impossible to have someone grow hair in a span of a few hours. What was he thinking! He scolded himself. He checked his watch and saw the date. It was the eve of All Souls' Day.  
  
In short, Holloween. 


	5. In the Shrieking Shack

In the Shrieking Shack  
  
Lily had an uneasy sleep. She dreamt of kissing a gingerbread man who was counting his gold then turned into a frog. There were also three fiddlers playing a lively jig and she dreamt that she dance with a. a something! She couldn't remember. But then something interrupted that dream. She saw a woman, beautiful and looked like her except she had black instead of copper hair and gray and deep-seated eyes. She was running to the great hall followed by a child who looked like her but with straight hair. The child tried to catch her but in vain. Then the dream faded away just as it had come. Then she had her foolish dream again of dancing with something and the three fiddlers now playing a sad song. She woke up and she remembered no more.  
  
Later that morning, she saw Professor Sinclair staring absently towards the Forbidden Forest as if waiting for something. She seemed worried with her face in deep thought.  
  
Remus walked slowly in the darkened corridors. Looking at his watch, it was already half past 6. He felt as if all energy had been drained from him. He felt weaker than usual during full-moon. And a feeling of unrest was troubling him. It was a good thing Lily was with the others on the Hogsmeade trip or she would've suspected a lot. Suddenly, from a dark corner someone grabbed him.  
  
"Sirius! For god's sake, don't scare me like that.!" He wearily said.  
  
The other spoke in hushed tones: "I'm sorry. I had to tell you this so you would not think ill of us." He sounded very sad.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"It's James. He doesn't want us to go in Hogsmeade with you. I tried to talk him out but he's still insanely jealous of you and that Evans girl." Sirius explained hastily.  
  
"There's nothing between us!" Remus pointed out.  
  
"Yeah. I know. But he doesn't see it. If you still want us to be with you, stay away from her!" Sirius was now agitated.  
  
"Tell James there is nothing between us! And if he wants to fight me, don't include Lily with it. "  
  
"She isn't worth being fought for! Is she so important to you that you would burn old friendships just to be with her?"  
  
"I do not want to severe any friendships, either old or new! It's just that she understands something in me. I can't really explain."  
  
"Does she know of you being a werewolf?"  
  
Remus sighed. "Not yet."  
  
"Do you intent do tell her?"  
  
"I -I'm not so sure.." His voice trailed off.  
  
Sirius shook his head. "I'd go with you near the hospital wing. They might be already looking for you. Then I'll go away. We won't visit you. I'm so sorry." He sounded unusually regretful.  
  
"It's all right." Remus replied and then the both of them trudged towards the hospital wing.  
  
Lily saw them talking to each other, both distraught, most especially Remus. When Sirius wore a grave frown then led him to the Hospital Wing, she feared that he might harm Remus. She must know where they went. No doubt Potter was behind all this, she thought. So she thought of how she could trail after them. Of course! She must hit the weakest link! Peter Pettigrew. She did not expect where her curiosity will lead her.  
  
Walking to the Gryffindor dormitory, Peter was absorbed in his own thoughts. To his great surprise, someone grabbed him by the collar and they went in a dark corner.  
  
"Wh -what do you w-want?" he stuttered nervously. When he saw Lily's face, he was relieved. Then she pointed her wand at him, he was mistaken. This meant trouble, he thought.  
  
"Tell me where are you taking Remus tonight?" she prodded him with her wand. "Speak."  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about!"  
  
"You know and you're hiding it from me. Do you remember the last curse in Defense class?"  
  
"y-yeah?So?"  
  
" I know how to perform that one, so you better not try to lie to me. I could tell. Speak quickly!" she threateningly pointed her wand at his forehead.  
  
"p-please don't hurt me!" he squealed.  
  
"I wont if you just answer me!" she hissed.  
  
"I really don't know what are you saying! Remus is only leaving for-" he almost slipped  
  
Lily's eyes narrowed. "Got you. You know what is planned for Remus. My patience is running out. Answer me, Pettigrew." She said this to threaten him but inside she was afraid that someone might see them.  
  
"Remus is to be found in the Shrieking Shack. But please don't go there! Please! You'd harm yourself! He'd be fine there. Sirius and James wont do anything to him. You're badly mistaken!" he quickly answered. Cold sweat dripped from his skin.  
  
She stubbornly ignored the few last statements. "How can you go there?"  
  
He whimpered and refused to talk. So she scorched a part of his robe. "Alright! There's a path. The statue of the old witch in this corridor. Say Dissendium and crawl in the opening there. You'll be in the cellar of the sweets shop." He said.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
He nodded vigorously.  
  
Lily left him shaking and frightened. So a few hours later, he went to have dinner in the great hall to comfort himself.  
  
The tables were decked with foods of many kinds as well as candies and sweets. The ceiling showed the sky above which was scattered with a few clouds and the moon shone brightly in its roundness. Jack o' Lanterns lit with candles inside floated eerily above them, smiling in a strange way. He sat in the corner of the Gryffindor table and began to eat.  
  
Not much later, Sirius and James sat beside him and ate in silence. James could not help but notice that he was trembling and sweating though the weather was cold.  
  
"Peter," he called out to him but Peter almost jumped out of his seat, causing him to tip his goblet onto the table. "What's wrong?"  
  
"N-nothing." He laughed nervously.  
  
"What do you mean nothing happened? You're as twitchy as a rat and a part of your robe is burnt and you say its nothing?" Sirius spoke in sardonic tones. "C'mon. Spit it out."  
  
"E -Evans, she went to the Shrieking Shack. She doesn't know why Remus is there. I tried to warn her b-bu-but-" his stammering was stopped as James gripped his robe angrily with a frightened look in his face.  
  
"You told her the way to Hogsmeade!!! Tried to warn her? You should've stopped her!!!" James said through clenched teeth then hurried down the hall, not bothering to finish his dinner and Sirius close behind him.  
  
"Where do you think you're going? And why are you so fucking concerned for a girl that cost you to burn bridges with Remus? It 's her fault if she would get bitten by Remus!" Sirius said as he caught up with James.  
  
James turned around so suddenly and almost shouted: "It's either Remus or Evans would die in that place! Remus could die if Evans tries to curse him when she sees it! Evans could die too if Remus wont recognize her! He wont bite her, he'd kill and eat her! Are you with me or not Sirius Black?"  
  
Sirius smiled grimly at James. "You are so frigging insane, James Potter. But I'm with you in this crap."  
  
Both of them broke into a run but smiling now, knowing that they had each other to rely on. But they did not notice the cold gleam of gray eyes following their path.  
  
A knock sounded in the headmaster's office, then almost inaudible steps. Without turning around Albus Dumbledore greeted his guest. "Good evening, Lucian."  
  
"Headmaster, you know what is to come tonight?" Professor Sinclair spoke in a quite imperceptible voice.  
  
"Yes, yes. The students will be safe sleeping in the Great Hall tonight." He answered.  
  
"Are you sure they would be safe?" she asked once more.  
  
"Undoubtedly. Now, take your dinner. I'll be following shortly. And Lucian, you worry yourself too much. Nothing is going to harm you while you are in the school. Don't bother going to the Shrieking Shack. I'll see to it myself that Remus Lupin would be safe."  
  
She said nothing then the door closed silently behind her. She went to the Great Hall and saw Peter Pettigrew eating alone and looking twitchy. She thought that he never ate alone and without his companions. Suddenly, she thought that maybe they were outside the building. Slipping unnoticed, she decided to go to the Shrieking Shack. In a swish of her black cloak, she was gone.  
  
Everybody was enjoying the desserts when the headmaster rose from his seat and demanded everyone's attention. "Tonight, you would not be sleeping in your dormitories but her in the Great Hall. I must insist that you must all be in bed in here by 11 o clock. The faculty will see to it about that." He finished, which left the students to a loud murmuring.  
  
Professor Mcgonnagal approached him. "Albus, Lucian is missing. Do you suppose-":  
  
Dumbledore said quietly "She wants to make sure that unnecessary deaths will not occur. Clearly, I was right about choosing her as our Defense teacher."  
  
Professor Mcgonnagal breathed deeply. "Do you think she could handle it by herself?"  
  
"She knows what she is doing,. And we'll be there if she falls." He replied.  
  
After what seemed hours of walking in darkness with only the light of her wand guiding her, she bumped her toe on cold stone steps. She broke into a relieved smile. At least she knew she was near her goal now. By now, her feet were already complaining against the cold and her eye hurt in squinting in the semi-darkness. Her head hit something hard. This must be the floor, she thought. She heard no noise from above and she opened it cautiously. Thankfully, She went out unnoticed by the people and the vendors in there. She walked slowly in Hogsmeade, under the creaky boughs of the skeleton branches of the trees.. People passed her by without giving her a second look. That was good, she said to herself. She made her way to where lesser and lesser people were until she was alone in the street. A freezing wind rose and scattered leaves noisily. She was frightened but dared not to show it. It cleared the sky that showed a full moon. She felt comforted that at least she had light. A heavy sense of dread settled on her stomach as she approached the Shrieking Shack. It was notorious for the haunting that happened there during full moon. No wonder no one was there and why Black and Potter chose to bring Remus there.  
  
Very slowly she opened the door, making it creak muck louder than she liked. "Remus?" she whispered. "Are you in here?" No one answered so she stepped inside. Much of what was there was wrecked and there were many signs of violence in there. She shivered and looked carefully. The moonlight came in beams through the cracks on the roof and she was scared. Maybe a ghost was really there. She shook her head. It was no time for silly nonsense.  
  
"Remus?" she called out again. Her foot stepped on a twig and made her jump. Then she saw it. It was too late.  
  
A few feet in front of her was a werewolf. Its growls were guttural and hungry and the yellow eyes eyeing her with unmistakable greed. She backed a few steps but it went forward too, making no attempt to lose its prey. She tried to grab her wand from her pocket but it slipped from her trembling fingers. The wolf stepped on it, barring her from her hope of survival. Run! She commanded her legs but they were padlocked in place. Cold sweat beaded her forehead and her heart beating fast and noisily.  
  
As if the werewolf could hear her heartbeat, its ears twitched excitedly. In one leap, it lunged for her. She managed to get away in time and she ran. The wolf followed her so she tried to throw a wooden chair to it. It did hit him but only increased his anger and pursued her more. She did not know how but she managed to evade the monster and round and round inside the small room she ran. She couldn't get to the door because if she did, the werewolf would manage to kill her. Where was Remus? She thought frantically. Then her eyes widened in realization. Remus? She looked at the werewolf but stumbled on the wooden floor. Her foot bent under her and a sharp pain shot up her leg. Horrified, she knew she was sprained. This was her end.  
  
The wolf took steady steps before her and with one fluid movement, lunged for her. She closed her eyes tightly, hoping for someone to save her. She waited for the bite to come.  
  
It didn't.  
  
She opened her eyes and saw a bear-like dog matted with rich thick black fur fighting the wolf, wrestling with it. A few moments later, her most unlikely savior arrived.  
  
With his hair in wild disarray and thick eyeglasses framing his frantic hazel eyes, it was unmistakably James Potter.  
  
"Petrificus totalis!" he aimed his wand at the feral monster and then it ceased moving, seeming petrified. James now rushed to her huddled figure. "Are you alright? Did something happen to you? Evans, answer me! Damn it!!" he held her by her small shoulder. He couldn't help but notice the way, her pupils were dilated and he could feel her fast heartbeats. Her startling green eyes wide open, he could almost see the fear reflected in it.  
  
She did not think. Her body acted out on its own. One moment she was huddled in the corner with James in front of her. Then the next , she threw herself on his chest and cried. She flailed her hands weakly at him but he didn't seem to be hurt. Why she cried? She did not know. It might have been fear. It might have been relief or joy. or something else.  
  
James was taken by surprise. Leaning on him was actually the girl who hated his guts so much. But their arguments or whatever there was dissolved like cotton candy soaked in water. He looked down an her. She felt so fragile in his hands, like she was made of delicate china and her long tresses waving on her back. She was trembling too and he could feel her heart beating against his chest. For some uncanny reason, his own started to beat wildly too. Stop it! He should not be acting like this. He should not! But instead of stopping, his stomach made a small flip-flop as she raised her head. A moonbeam shone on her and both her eyes glistened with tears, looking at him with a strange light. Those amazingly exquisite eyes. He wondered if he would be able to see them in another girl besides her. But no, it would only be hers. His arms moved around her hesitantly then enclosed her still shaking body, thinking of what could calm her down. Weird, he thought. There was something comfortable in holding someone in your arms. Warmth coursed inside him and they were so close to each other. He did not want to let go of her.  
  
She didn't feel his embrace. Unconsciousness suddenly took her and she went limp and quiet in his arms.  
  
Suddenly alarmed, he broke his embrace and looked at her. He knew this expression. She was unconscious but not asleep. He felt for her pulse. Fortunately, it was still there. But disquiet grew in him.  
  
Sirius, still in his dog form, who was standing outside the door sensed something odd and sniffed warily. It was odd that everything to be so dully quiet. No wind stirred the trees nor any insect sang. Only the dead silence and the eerie glow of the moon that was slowly being swallowed by the clouds. He let out a long howl that resounded in the night. Then he heard it. Something like a horrible grumbling of many trolls and the hurrying scurry of barefoot and metal-clad feet. He saw nothing. Then the entirety of the moon was swallowed in darkness. Fear went in him and he rushed to the shack.  
  
James was surprised as Sirius went back, now in his human form.  
  
"Something is out there." He warned James. " I fear it."  
  
"I can feel it too." He replied in a quiet tone. They sat in silence for a while.  
  
Without warning the door opened wide and someone was there. Both of them whipped their wands in unison and faced the being.  
  
It's hand went in silver flames and illuminated her grim and stoic face.  
  
"Professor Sinclair?" Sirius muttered and a sharp chill went down his spine. 


	6. Hallucinations

Hallucinations  
  
So she arrived just in time. She could hear the voices and their footfall already. All four the four students were there. Remus Lupin, in his werewolf form and Sirius Black. Then James Potter holding Lily Evans beside him. Without further ado she strode in front of them and checked the girl for injuries. When she found none, she said: "Quick. Shut your eyes and don't make a sound. And whatever you will see, never ever give in to it." She warned them severely.  
  
"What is going on, Professor?" James asked her and there was fright in his eyes.  
  
"The night and the darkness are crossing unto us. The nightmares will come. Fear it." She told them quickly, even if they did not know what she was saying, speaking in riddles they could not understand. Already the fire in her hand went dimmer and dimmer and then it went out. A sudden rush of strong wind came in, chilling them to their bones. The darkness complete and frightening.  
  
James felt like he was actually being immersed in the blackness. He felt it crawl on many feet scuffling and sometimes growling and hissing. He felt a cold airy hand touch him and he shivered.  
  
Then came the visions.  
  
Lily, from the darkness of her sleep, opened her eyes. She was in a small room, decorated with cute little things for babies. She lightly strode to a wooden crib and saw a baby wrapped in many swaddling clothes so she could not see the eyes. Only the tiny nose and mouth and the grubby little fists waving for her. He was happily gurgling and she felt happiness flood her too. She picked him up and he laughed in his own babyish way. Then the windows and doors burst open and a strong wind filled the room with cold. A man with black hood and cloak swished silently from behind her. She looked back at him and she knew that they were in danger. So she backed away.  
  
"Don't go away. " it said silkily. "Come with me."  
  
There was something in its voice that wanted her to follow what it said. But the baby cried and she realized that it meant to kill them. SO she ran outside the door of the nursery and down and down the stairs to where the main door was, still carrying the poor baby with her.  
  
But it followed them without effort, gliding more than walking in its own gentle swishy way. But now a wand stuck out of its robes, aiming at them.  
  
She wanted to run and escape from it. It was her strongest instinct. She opened the door and ran on the dark street with the warm summer air upon her.  
  
James ran home. Already a big banner hung out in their front saying Happy Homecoming James. He wanted to be home. It seemed a long while since he had been there. He eagerly opened the front door and entered.  
  
Happy Birthday to you  
  
Happy Birthday to you  
  
Everyone of family and friend was there, singing happily to someone in the middle.  
  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday  
  
Happy Birthday to you  
  
He inched his way and saw another James Potter in the middle. They do not seem to take notice of him, the real one. They pushed a lot of gifts in his -the other James's arms. They cheered him, laughed with him, they all seemed happy and they all loved the other. Sirius, Remus and Peter patting the other and Lily Evans, who was in the crowd, gave him a quick peck on the cheek then hugged the clone.  
  
He was frustrated and angry. This can't be happening. He was the original James Potter.  
  
Make a wish, they said. The other beamed and blew all of the candles in one breath.  
  
Everything went dark. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around. It was his clone.  
  
"Who are you?" he demanded angrily.  
  
"I'm James Potter." The clone answered.  
  
"BUT I'M JAMES POTTER!" he shouted back.  
  
The clone laughed. "No! You are the fake. See for yourself." It said calmly.  
  
From his right appeared a mirror and he looked in it. What he saw was a total loser, a failure and everything he did not want to become.  
  
"I told you so." It said to him. "You are hated, unloved and repulsed by everyone. And look at me. I have a lot of friends and everybody loves me, not to mention Evans."  
  
He still did not believe. "I'm still me. I know how to fly." He said desperately to give the other or himself the proof of his own identity.  
  
"Really? Show me then." It replied coolly.  
  
A broom was handed to him and he reached for it. He positioned himself but to his surprise, he did not fly. "Fly, you stupid broom!" he commanded. He looked at his broom and saw only a stick with a few dried twigs on its end. A sickening dread balled in his stomach.  
  
The other rolled in laughter. "Now, now. Be a man and give it up. You're a goner! Get a grip and read my lips. L-O-S-E-R. Get lost" it kicked him viciously that he fell on the floor. Every time his other hit him, the pain went deeper than he expected. Not that it came from the blows but from inside him. Who was he anyway if he wasn't James Potter? He was as if experiencing the time when their family went to a crowded city foreign to him. He was distracted by a shining coin on the street. He approached to take it but a foot cruelly kicked it into a sewer hole. He felt like crying and decided to go to his parents. But they were nowhere to be found to. He was lost and all alone. Just like now.  
  
"I'll show some pity on you. I'm not that merciless you know. Here. And do it fast."  
  
Something landed in front of him. It was a bread knife. He took it up and thought, dying would be easier for him.  
  
Lily was now exhausted from running. Her legs ached and her arms threatened to lose grip on the child. No! she told herself. She wont give up the child or die in the attempt saving it..  
  
"It's no use running away from me." It taunted.  
  
She suddenly stumbled on a tree root on the pavement and sent her sprawling on the hard cement. I don't want to die, she thought. She screamed for help as the figure neared her.  
  
James dropped the knife suddenly. There was a voice from afar, calling for someone. It called for help. Someone needed him. Maybe the other was wrong after all. He had a purpose in life even if he may not have an identity. "No." he whispered.  
  
"No what?"  
  
"I won't kill myself. I'm real. Someone needs me. And no one can't take that from me." He said more to himself than the other.  
  
James swam to consciousness and realized that he was still in the Shrieking Shack and some of the darkness have been lifted. Professor Sinclair was conscious and murmuring something and grasped by both of her hands like a sword in front of her was a familiar looking dagger. Sirius was sprawled on the floor and Lupin, still a werewolf, twitching uneasily. Lily was still in his arms. He must've fallen asleep holding her. She was whimpering and trails of tears were in her cheeks. "Lily, Lily. Wake up." He nudged her but she would not wake up still. Suddenly she trembled greatly and a loud whimper escaped her lips. He rocked her gently but it did no good. Instead, he cupped her cheek and placed his lips on hers. Her lips were soft and warm and her scent flooded him. It felt weird and once more, he felt his heart twist. Doing this, she calmed down and whatever was plaguing her left her. He drew back and was, unfortunately, disappointed. He knew she did not know he kissed her. She did not respond in a way he thought she would. But he was stricken in disbelief. He kissed her! He thought. Joy swelled inside him.  
  
Sirius woke up next, still gasping from breath. Thankfully all of it was only a dream. Then he saw his best friend holding Evans in an awestruck way. He smiled. He did miss something worth seeing. His gaze shot across him. Remus was returning in his human form. Then when human enough, Sirius approached him though still tired.  
  
He was human again! Remus thought. He scanned his body for bite marks. He realized it was all a vision. He did not sit up. All of his energy was drained. Through half-closed eye lids, he saw Sirius approaching him.  
  
"All right, Remus?" he said.  
  
Remus nodded in return. He was put up against the wall and he saw Sirius smiling back. Then something caught his eye. "Sirius, Professor." he started weakly.  
  
He turned around and sees Professor Sinclair being wrapped by many protuberances. The very darkness was alive in its own way.  
  
She felt the freezing hands grab. She could hear the many voices wanting blood. They wanted it so much they nearly caught the girl and they wouldn't leave unless they would have blood. But she refused and instead it wanted her. "Go back from whence you came. This is not your place. And you shall hove none of us lest I would force you to leave." She said to them but they clamored hungrily. They wrapped their hands around her, carrying them with her and draining her of her energy but they cannot disobey what she said and soon went away screaming. It had fled but she felt faint and looked at her own arm. The whipcord-like hands made a mark on her pale forearm and two large punctures welled with scarlet drops. Her blood. She staggered to keep her balance and went to her student.  
  
"Professor?" James asked worriedly. The clouds have unveiled the moonlight and Remus showed signs of transforming again.  
  
"Quick, out of the room." She said hoarsely.  
  
Sirius went out first then James carrying the still-sleeping Lily with him. She staggered behind them and locked the shack. "Is Ms. Evans alright?" she asked.  
  
James looked at Lily then said "I don't know, Professor."  
  
She limply went to him and felt Lily's pulse then forehead. She winced as she did this and withdrew her hand quickly. "She's alright. But it appears she was more affected than both of you." She replied  
  
Sirius never saw anything like what she did. Whatever that was assaulting them fled at her words. No doubt she was strange but to command something like that was beyond strange. "What was that Professor?" he inquired.  
  
"There are things in this world you are not supposed to know. You saw already too much than you would've cared for. Be thankful the nightmares did not take its toll on you." She answered weakly.  
  
Sinclair walked a few steps but she lost much blood already. In a few steps she faltered and fell on the ground.  
  
In a few moments Dumbledore, Mcgonnagal and Pomfrey rushed to them. Professor Mcgonnagal gathered them three as Madame Pomfrey checked on them. James heard their deputy headmistress ask what happened but he was too tired to answer so he let Sirius talk. As he explained, the nurse clucked her tongue.  
  
Mcgonnagal wore a thin line on her face. "Goodness what comes in your mind, you both! And including Evans in your foolishness! You'd have to do detentions with Mr. Filch and I'd have to deduct 20 points from each of you! Think yourself blessed since Professor Sinclair was with you!" she exasperatedly scolded the two of them.  
  
"Mr. Black and Mr. Potter," a gentle voice addressed them both. It was Dumbledore. "I'd like to have a few words with you privately in my office as we arrive to the school."  
  
Sirius and James exchanged dark looks and followed their headmaster back.  
  
In Dumbledore's office, Albus bade them sit down on the soft chairs he conjured.  
  
Warily, both of them sat stiffly, fearing whatever their punishment would be.  
  
Dumbledore probably sensed their fear because he smiled towards them, eyes twinkling behind his half-moon glasses. "To begin with, do tell me how both of you ended up in the Shrieking Shack and what happened as you arrived."  
  
"It's that we dared each other to go in the Shrieking Shack tonight and we did not know that Evans tailed after us. When we realized it, it was already too late so we went on with the dare. We did not think there would be a werewolf inside the shack." Sirius lied smoothly then paused.  
  
"Go on." Dumbledore urged them.  
  
James answered this time. "Professor Sinclair came to us then told us to shut our eyes. We had dreams then we woke up and we saw her fighting something. It seemed to strangle her too but it left after she said something. Then we left the shack and she fainted." He answered half- truthfully.  
  
Dumbledore's eyes seemed to bore in them and he could feel Sirius shift uneasily beside him. If they discovered the real truth, they'd be even expelled.  
  
"It's all right. What matters is that you are safe and sound. But I ask you not to do those things again and not to disclose what you have seen or felt to anyone who wasn't with you. You may go now." The headmaster dismissed them and closed the door behind them.  
  
Sirius let out a great sigh of relief. "I thought we're going to be expelled." He smiled wryly.  
  
"Forget expelled. I thought we're going to be dead." James added and smiled too. Slowly they walked away. "Where's Evans?" he asked as they climbed up to their dormitories.  
  
"Hospital Wing maybe. What do you think about what Dumbledore said? He said not to tell anyone. Of what?" Sirius said aloud in the corridor.  
  
James shrugged lightly, messing his hair with his left hand. "Who knows." He said briefly. He was too tired to care. What he wanted now was some sleep, nightmares or no. Let the other matters handle themselves. He climbed up his bed and threw himself on the covers, removing only his shoes and robe. As he stared into the moonlight he touched his lips lightly. He kissed Lily Evans. He grew sad and he turned against his pillow. He thought she'd never realize how much that night meant to him and what happened between them. He was sure that the next morning, she'd never give him a second thought ever again.  
  
He never knew how wrong he was as he thought of this. 


	7. Eyes on Me

Eyes on Me  
  
There was a knock on the door, then footsteps. Lucian Sinclair raised her head from the pillow to look at the guest.  
  
Albus Dumbledore appeared shortly at her beside then sat down on a nearby chair, holding a simple goblet with purple liquid in it.  
  
"Headmaster -I" she started.  
  
"No formalities, Lucian. And don't stress yourself." He interrupted.  
  
"I am not, Sir. Only doing my part." She replied coolly and weakly waved her wand to the tea set on the table. It poured steaming tea on a china cup and added cream and sugar in it, utensils moving by themselves.  
  
"Thank you, thank you." He said and sipped his tea in silence for a while as she looked out to the window once more. "It seems that you disobeyed me, Lucian. And look what happened to you." He calmly said to her.  
  
She bowed her head. "I could not leave them alone, Headmaster. Someone would be taken away from them, especially Evans." She said.  
  
"You have done very well against it and in protecting the students. I was right about choosing you as our Defense teacher but do not try to take things single-handedly. You'll end up hurting yourself." He reproachfully said.  
  
She opened her mouth to speak but he raised his hand.  
  
"You are mature beyond your years, yet you are still young. Only eighteen."  
  
"I'm about to be nineteen this winter, sir." She objected vehemently.  
  
"Still too young." He firmly pointed out. "Given your condition, you won't last long if you keep fighting all by yourself. I know you are very independent. Surviving almost through only your own capacity at a very young age. But trust us, child. We'll help you." He ended in quiet tones and smiled warmly. He rose then continued. "Now, you'll have to sleep even for a while to regain your strength. I've brought you a sleeping potion."  
  
"But-" she started.  
  
"Guaranteed no dreams." He injected. "Good (glancing at a clock) morning and sleep tight."  
  
"Headmaster, I saw what Lily Evans had seen." She said even before he could leave his position. She looked up and said. "The shadows are growing fast. He would come for me. But I fear, long after I'm gone, our mentor would come."  
  
He turned around slowly. "Yes I know. I know." He ended darkly and left with a swish of his long silvery robe.  
  
Lucian stared at the window. It was slowly turning gray. She turned her gaze on the goblet Dumbledore left. For quite a while her stare lingered there. And with a sweep of her hand, she threw the contents to the fireplace. Then she went out of her office to the Hospital Wing.  
  
James woke up refreshed that morning, yawning hugely. He took a bath and put on clothes. Sirius was already waiting in the common room. "You're early." He greeted his friend.  
  
"It is rather you're late, Prongs. Hurry, Peter already went to the Great Hall." Sirius answered.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"What else? Breakfast, of course."  
  
He jogged to keep up with the other. "What's the hurry?"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes upward. "How thick can you get? Detention, mate. Professor Mcgonnagal would be wanting to see us during breakfast."  
  
James groaned loudly. She certainly won't be light on the detentions. He hoped he wouldn't get something awful as hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. Filch was getting too keen on the both of them. When would he have the chance to go to the Hospital Wing, he thought to himself.  
  
Lily woke up groggily on the hospital bed. Her eyes flew wide open as she remembered what happened last night. When she saw that she was in the Hospital Wing, she sighed in relief. She thought someone was really after her. In the Shrieking Shack too, the hard truth came down on her. Remus Lupin was a werewolf. She shook her head. No, it couldn't be him or else he would've recognized her. A werewolf nearly bit her if not James had saved her.  
  
James Potter!  
  
She sat up to quickly and she felt suddenly nauseous. Good thing a bucket was nearby and she spit the bitter bile from her mouth.  
  
Someone came to her aid instantly and brought her water.  
  
She cleansed her mouth then leaned back on the sheets. It was nice to just sleep. Her eyes still felt heavy from lack of sleep. She looked up and saw Professor Sinclair sitting nearby.  
  
"You might be thinking why am I here. I'm not giving you detention or anything, I'm here to ask questions to you. But first, Would you like something to eat?. You could use something." Sinclair said.  
  
Her stomach was grumbling loudly, Lily realized for the first time. Strange. She thought Professor Sinclair was stone cold. But she was capable of feeling despite her unsmiling face. She watched as the other whipped out her wand, conjure a mug and as dark brown liquid poured from it then gave it to her. It felt wonderfully warm in her hands and the temperature was not too hot nor too cold. The steam sent the fragrance of cocoa to her nose. She looked at Sinclair who was drinking from another cup too.  
  
"Drink up. It's cocoa with sugar. It's good for you since you had a severe dose of shock last night. Don't worry. It has no poison and no potion. See, I'm drinking too. Besides, it's pointless to poison you." Lucian waved her mug to make her point.  
  
Lily too a tentative sip. Surprisingly, it warmed her heart and her limbs. She beamed and took a generous swig.  
  
"What is it that you want to ask me, Professor?" Lily asked as she finished her mug.  
  
Lucian put down her own mug. "Do you recollect what you dreamt last night?" she asked.  
  
"Yes. Umm.Professor, what happened last night."  
  
" Sometimes, Night passes over us. Fortunately, they did not take anyone last night. And it wont happen again here."  
  
"They?"  
  
"The nightmares. Your own nightmares to be exact, each one different. When they pass, they take their toll from us."  
  
"But how-"  
  
Lucian shook her head. "Curiosity killed the cat. Don't be too curious about it. It's better not knowing."  
  
After some quiet moments Lily said: "Are they real? Or will they? I dreamt a horrible dream last night. I'm afraid that it would happen to me."  
  
The other reached for her shoulder and reassured her. "Nothing will happen, yet. But for now, sleep would be best for you. You had a trying night." Then she rose to leave. Before she could go a few feet away from Lily, she said: "I reckon that you would like to talk to your savior. He'll come here on my bidding by this afternoon. Pleasant dreams." Then she strode towards the doors of the wing and was gone.  
  
Lily lay back on the covers. Even though the professor had explained something to her, everything was still vague to her and she was much befuddled. She closed her eyes and tried to recollect the nightmare she had. But no memory came to her. A frown formed at her brow. She was sure that before Sinclair talked to her, she could vividly recall every detail of the dream. But now, she couldn't recall anything. Not a single thing about it.  
  
Suddenly, her stomach fluttered and she felt giddy. She'd have to talk to Potter about the reason why he did save her. Maybe to make amends, she thought. But no one in his proper mind would ever face a werewolf and save his enemy just to make amends over some petty fight. And this troubled her somewhat. Languor lapped gently in her mind and she dropped off to sleep once more.  
  
Professor Sinclair went inside her office. She was right after all that someone would come to shake the fate of the world. The man with the hooded cape, she knew him all too well. Something inside of her hurt as she recalled how Lily saved the child, her child. She'd rather suffer than to see her child harmed. The empty feeling in her stomach grew. The act reminded her of the past and a strange ache filled her. She felt the necklace of beads she hid behind her clothes. Some wounds would never fully heal, she thought. No time for anything else, she had an errand to do. But even before she could walk outside her office, a shortness of breath seized her and she crumpled to a heap on the cold floor, not waking until that afternoon.  
  
"Stupid." James muttered under his breath. "Very, very stupid." He repeated again. Mcgonnagal had given him the detention with Filch who unfortunately gave him the task of cleaning a dungeon that was empty for so many years already. And without magic! Sirius was told to do the dishes in the Kitchens. He thought that this was easy but he saw the dungeon and he was crestfallen. Grime stuck at the windows, spiders and other insects scampered here and there and molds prospered on the damp walls. He swore aloud and said a colorful train of profanities, which he regretted later. It cost him to polish all the trophies in the Trophy room. He had just finished his errand at the dungeon and now he was climbing the stairs to the Trophy room. Already he was very tired and it was just afternoon.  
  
"Mr. Potter," a voice called out to him.  
  
He looked around and saw Professor Sinclair leaning at a wall.  
  
She walked and stood in front of him. She looked haggard and weary too but her face was not so stern as she spoke to him. " I am deeply impressed on the bravery you shown to save Ms. Evans. But in the process you broke a few rules and lost some points and earned yourself detention." She said and pointed to the cleaning bucket he had. "I would not question your intentions of saving the girl but I know Ms. Evans herself would. That is why she asked for you to come to the Hospital Wing as she is being released this afternoon."  
  
James felt his cheeks warm, much against his will. He protested: "But I'd still have to clean the Trophy room, Professor."  
  
"That could be arranged. Run along now, she wants to talk to you." She dismissed him quickly and strode away. "And Mr. Potter," she called out again.  
  
"Yes, Professor?" he replied, wondering why.  
  
Without a backward glance she said "Fifty points for Gryffindor for your bravery." Then she walked away.  
  
He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and smile. That was weird. But he didn't rush to the Hospital Wing. Instead, he went to the empty dormitory and washed then changed his robes and clothes. Why would Evans talk to me, he thought. It would be impossible for her to thank him since they were not in good terms with each other. Maybe she'd want to talk about Remus. His spirits sank and went towards the Hospital Wing grudgingly.  
  
It was a blessing that Madame Pomfrey wasn't there so James quietly walked down the wards until he found Lily's.  
  
Her bed was directly under an open window so the golden light of the autumn afternoon shone on her and suffused the ward with a soft glow. She was still asleep so he took the opportunity to look at her well enough. But as soon as he sat down on the foot of her bed, she stirred and sleepily sat up, without opening her eyes.  
  
Her wavy and rich copper hair was slightly disheveled on her head, a few tendrils framing her face. There was a softness in her features caused from too much sleep and she opened her eyes, vividly green depths stared at him too. And the light behind her made her look ethereal. She wasn't a bit pretty. She was beautiful, James reflected.  
  
"Are you alright, Potter?" she waved her hand on his absently staring face. He seemed to be looking at something behind her or he was struck dumb.  
  
He snapped out of his reverie and seemed disconcerted. "Sorry, I was just.thinking." He muttered. He felt severely tongue-tied when she faced him. He prayed silently that he wouldn't say something awfully stupid to arouse her fury. "Professor Sinclair said you wanted to talk to me." He said rather formally than he intended to.  
  
She bit her lower lip. "Did she? I really did not tell her that. I only thought about it. Strange how she knows a lot of things just from talking to you. I hope it wasn't inconvenient for you to come here so we'd talk." She shyly said to him.  
  
He was surprised that she wasn't angry or something at him. "What is it that you want to talk about?"  
  
She hesitated then said slowly. "I wanted to ask if it was really.Remus who was in the Shrieking Shack. I want to know badly. As one of his closest friends, I hoped that you know of it."  
  
A part of him was depressed as she said this. He was right that they'd talk about Lupin. "I'm surprised that he did not tell you about it. He is." He confided, a tone of his bitterness slipped while he told her. "He is put away in the Shrieking Shack once a month so that he wont do any harm to anyone."  
  
She noted it and wondered. He seemed different from the James Potter she knows. That Potter was rude, annoying, a pompous airhead, and obnoxiously arrogant too. She prevented herself for wondering aloud. "How did you know about that?"  
  
"He told us." He bluntly said.  
  
She chewed on her lip. He seemed bitter towards Remus. She opened her mouth to say something then shut it again. An awkward silence ran between them and she did not know how to break it.  
  
He lifted his head again to look at her who was somehow dismayed too. "You all right, Evans?" he asked.  
  
"Hm? Oh. Yeah, I'm all right. Just needed sleep. I think I could go now to the dormitory." She replied.  
  
"So I'd be going now before you." He rose from his seat but she clutched the sleeve of his robe.  
  
"No! I mean-don't go yet." She said. "Is it alright for you if you'd accompany me to the common room?" she asked, again in a hesitating manner.  
  
He paused, adjusted his eyeglasses and said "Sure" in a throwaway gesture but inside he felt happy again, and strangely accompanied with some apprehension. He was rewarded with one of the most treasured things he'd have in his life.  
  
Lily's smile. Just for him. Only for him.  
  
Slowly and side by side, they walked through the corridors to their dormitory. The tension between them was eased a bit but it was still there. Suddenly, something caught Lily's eye.  
  
"Look," she said softly and pointed toward an open window.  
  
He looked at what she was pointing at and squinted to see better. At the edge of the Forbidden Forest was a young unicorn pawing at the ground. There was a marvelous grace in its movement. But his mind wasn't there as he stared blankly at it then messed his hair a bit.  
  
Lily watched him as he absently gazed at the unicorn. His dark hair was always messed up and he had a sort of handsome hazel eyes, she had to admit, that was very observant and when staring at her had a way of making her feel strange, almost lightheaded. She did not know how to explain.  
  
"You know, I'm troubled why Remus nearly killed me that night. I thought he wouldn't do that to me and he'd recognize me one way or another. It pains me a bit." She confessed.  
  
James felt oddly hurt. Remus again. "No one is in their proper state of mind when they are turned into monsters. They'd have the same mind as the beast itself. " he told her but his tone cold and flat.  
  
"I suppose so." She stared at the unicorn again. Suddenly it whisked away like a breath of wind.  
  
James began to walk away again when she called from behind him: "Potter -I mean James." He tentatively turned round to face her.  
  
Lily walked towards him, her eyes were downcast as she said: "James, when you were called to talk to me this afternoon, it wasn't Remus I wanted to talk about. "There was a pause then she continued. "I just wanted to thank you.for saving me, whatever the reasons were." She finished, raising her eyes timidly to his gaze.  
  
He didn't know what exactly the insanity that came to him. But he took he chin and gently kissed her. It wasn't like the last time he kissed her that she did not respond. She did respond now, placing her hand against his chest. A new longing grew in him alongside a new happiness.  
  
She was surprised but did not draw away from his kiss. It warmed her and made her feel awfully comfortable. She wanted to stay that way. Her heartbeat in painful thumps and loud to her ears. Again, she felt giddy. It was as if all common sense inside her brain was incapable of functioning.  
  
He drew away but his face lingering near hers. She was lightly gasping for breath, her breath mingling with his. Her eyes wide and stared at his own. She went scarlet, then pale. In a few moments, she ran away from him, leaving him standing alone in the corridor, still yearning for her. 


	8. In Front of the Mirror

In front of the Mirror  
  
His gaze still trailed after her running figure. What had he done!? He asked himself, horrified. But instead of mentally scolding himself, he smiled widely and punched the air several times. Happiness welled from his chest and filled him. He removed his robe and began circling it above him, doing a sort of macho dance. He didn't notice someone approaching.  
  
"Mr. Potter! What are you doing?" Professor Mcgonnagal sternly inquired.  
  
He stopped dancing and slowly turned and faced her. Instead of bowing his head in shame, he smiled like the Cheshire Cat, much to the teacher's confusion. "Nothing, Professor. Absolutely nothing." He replied and skipped away from Mcgonnagal who shook her head before even she could say something.  
  
Lily locked herself in a girl's bathroom. It was deserted. She let herself fall against the door. What was she thinking in responding to his kiss? Her face burnt but not in shame but in a sudden shyness. Slowly, almost dreading, she walked to a mirror. A strong blush tainted her cheeks and her lips looked.fuller and she looked softer. There was also a light in her emerald eyes she couldn't explain. Did that one kiss affect her like that? She shook her head. No, no. It just wasn't possible. He was probably playing with her since she was sure she wasn't at all that strikingly attractive. Maybe she was pretty in an old, simple, bedimpled sort of way. Drop dead gorgeous? NO WAY! She splashed water on her face and patted it dry. She was still the same old Lily. Shy, sometimes rebellious and acid-tongued but plain. She looked at her long hair. She was proud of it ,being rich and lustrous and very long. Maybe she'd maintain it that way. Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and cautiously made her way to the dormitory. But what she believed that that afternoon, she died just a little.  
  
"Padfoot!" James gleefully put one arm around Sirius' neck as they met in the Great Hall for dinner.  
  
Weary from a whole day of washing the dishes, he muttered sullenly "What?"  
  
James still kept on smiling. "There's no need to be so grumpy, old friend!"  
  
Sirius faced James and made a horribly fake smile, baring his teeth in a menacing way. "All right. I'm smiling now. What's the reason for being so goddamn happy?"  
  
"Why! Prof. Sinclair gave us fifty points so we're redeemed!"  
  
"You're hiding something from me. Spit it, Prongs."  
  
James pouted dramatically. "Are you doubting good ol' Jamesy of hiding something from his best buddy? Come on. I'll tell you a joke."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why does the world spin?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I'm so impossibly handsome!" he beamed once more.  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow and a corner of his mouth. "Ha. Ha. Ha. My ribs are cracking, my stomach is hurting and tears flow from my eyes in mirth. I laugh so hard I fell out of my seat and died." He sardonically retorted but a smile was tugging at his mouth. Not satisfied, James pulled his cheeks upward.  
  
"Smile and the whole world smiles with you." James said.  
  
"Oh for god's sake James! Cut it out." He snapped irritably and slapping James's hands of his face but despite his will, a smile lifted one side of his mouth.  
  
"Told you you'd smile." James concluded and began to dig in his dinner. Sirius could only wonder what happened to him that he was suddenly awfully happy. "All right. You're suddenly so awfully happy. What happened? You and I know well that you don't care a shit if someone gives or takes points from us."  
  
He pouted theatrically again and imitated a girlish voice. "Aww. You hurt my sensitive feelings, you thick--hided beast you."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "I give up. You're hopeless, Prongs."  
  
"Speaking of, why don't we give old Moony a nice long visit." James suddenly quipped.  
  
The other stared at him in an unbelieving way. "What?"  
  
"We'll visit Moony. Don't you want to come? Peter can't however. " he repeated.  
  
Sirius gave an exasperated sigh. "You know what, James. You're becoming as unpredictable as a pregnant woman! I wonder what comes in your mind next. I thought you were set in being cold towards Moony."  
  
"Weelll.let's say I've changed my mind." He grinned slyly.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes once more. "Oh boy."  
  
Bleary eyed still, James woke up feeling like hell. His head kept throbbing like mad, caused by the lack of sleep he got since the last days. And in that day he was deadly irritable to anything. Sirius already warned him that he was going too much since he had hexed at least five people that day. To hell with detention. Intensified by the heat, his head hurt horribly and he kept rubbing it all the while.  
  
"Oy, James. What's the matter?" Sirius asked him since he noticed the frequent head rubbing and the frown that was always on his brow that day.  
  
"Nothing much. Except for the fact that two gremlins are hammering my brain to a gray pulp." He replied.  
  
Sirius clucked his tongue. "Want to go to the Hospital Wing?"  
  
"Nah. Cold water will do." He shrugged the suggestion off. Downing a glass of water, they hurried to Potions.  
  
They were told to make an Invigorating potion. An unfortunately difficult one. Taking his time, James completed the brew and put some into a corked glass vial.  
  
As he walked down the middle aisle to the teacher's table when somebody collided with him and caused him to drop his vial. He furiously looked up to his assailant: Severus Snape.  
  
"Dear, dear Snivelly. Why did you the hell just do that?" he drawled hatefully.  
  
"It was an accident, Potter." The other replied scathingly.  
  
"An accident, I see. Maybe a purposeful accident? You see, of all the times you had to move in the middle aisle, you have to chose the moment on which I am going to the table to submit my vial. Ah! A surprising coincidence, don't you think?" He said this through gritted teeth.  
  
"Perhaps Potter you should try to look at where you are going or try to grip whatever you are holding better." Snape retorted at James.  
  
"You say that even if your own hands are so greasy. You couldn't even hold to your robes without it slipping from your grasp. You couldn't do something about it, since you are unnaturally greasy. Maybe you should attach eyes on your fat ass to see who you're bumping it." James replied coolly.  
  
A lot of people laughed at this comment and a scarlet flush tainted his pallid cheeks. "Don't push it, Potter. I already apologized." He hissed.  
  
But James wasn't satisfied by just shaming Snape. He held out his wand and casually waved it over Severus' cauldron full of potion. In an instant, an hour of hard work disappeared, not even leaving any drop in the cauldron.  
  
Anger boiled over Snape and he tried to punch James but the other evaded it easily. "You're a son of a bitch, Potter!" he shouted and tried to punch him again.  
  
James fisted his hands and shouted tauntingly: "Want a fight, greasy Snivel-freak? You could hardly even hurt a baby!"  
  
Sirius was alarmed and restrained James from fighting back as other Slytherins held Snape back too. But both of them escaped and fought mano-a- mano on the dungeon floor.  
  
Other students surrounded them and cheered loudly and heated shouting between two houses over whose fault was whose rose. Chaos erupted until the Professor came back and all fell silent. Everyone meekly went to their places and finished their Potions. Everybody also saw the defeated figure of Severus Snape with one eye swollen, a bleeding nose and mouth while James only cut his lip and a slight graze on his cheek, his eyeglasses broken at the bridge.  
  
"Everyone finish their Potions and submit them to me. Ten points deducted to both houses." The Professor apathetically told them and ignored Snape's shouts about the fight. Due to his insistence, the mentor deducted five points more from them and gave him an extra assignment while a smirking James submitted another vial of the brew.  
  
After the class, everyone filled quickly out of the dark dungeon. James slung his bag on a shoulder and strode alone behind the rest of the class.  
  
Snape lurked behind a knight and as soon as James passed by him, he stealthily moved out and pointed his wand at James then shouted a curse.  
  
James turned around as he heard Severus' voice in the empty corridor. He saw a flash of red light momentarily and felt someone pushing him away with such force, it sent him sprawling with the one who pushed him to the floor.  
  
Long locks of copper hair fell on the contrasting black floor and James stirred and held the one who pushed him by the elbows, expecting to see a Slytherin.  
  
But Lily Evans stared back at him. But her hair was now hanging to her shoulders instead of her waist.  
  
Snape cursed at Evan's interference to save his enemy. "Move out, Evans!" he shouted.  
  
Lily stubbornly shook her head even though the wand was pointing at her instead of James. Surprised as he was of Lily pushing him out of harm's way only to have her hair severed, hot fury coursed his blood and shouted to Lily: "Why did you do that?"  
  
"He was about to kill you, Potter!" she yelled in answer.  
  
"Don't fucking interfere with my fights!" he said as she shoved her back and cursed Snape. In his hurry, he didn't see the tears pool in her green eyes.  
  
The curse hit him fortunately only at his arm. Blood seeped through the gash and a white splinter protruded through the cut . His bone. They were about to curse each other again when.  
  
"Expelliarmus" a voice sliced sharply in their angered minds, focused in cursing one another, causing them to be distracted. Their hands felt lashed by a hot wind and the wands flew from them. "Accio wands!" the cold voice again commanded. Dread filled the both of them as their wands were caught in mid-air by a wraith-like and very pale hand.  
  
The dagger-like stare of Professor Sinclair held them. "Snape! Potter! Evans! To my office!" she imperiously commanded and they followed her grudgingly to a room near the dungeons. Not going fast enough, she held James and Severus by their shoulders and pushed them inside the room. Both of them missed her fleeting pained expression as she did this.  
  
The room was unexpectedly cold. The furniture and walls bare of any decoration. The bookshelves stacked high with many unlabeled books. The sound of the heavy door being closed then locked gave a feeling of finality.  
  
Sinclair faced the three of them. "Snape and Potter, you two ought to be ashamed of yourselves for acting rashly out of the outburst in feelings over a petty fight over some spilled Potion!" she lashed out. Looking at their surprised faces, she continued: "Do you think I did not know what you did in the Dungeons? So despicable and demeaning on your parts. Let us look at your wands at what you did. Priori Incantem!" she muttered and ghostly wisps of ripping sounds resounded.  
  
She looked at them venomously, wands still at hand. "Both of you used the same curse with a capability of mutilating a body with great force. Do you know what this means? That you Snape should have been without an arm now and either of you Potter and Evans would have been decapitated."  
  
"Miss Evans, you have been extremely brave to push Mr. Potter, twenty points to you but since it is Mr. Potter started the fight in your Potions class, I'll deduct the same twenty points from you and ten points on him. Don't look so smug, Mr. Snape. Twenty points off you too. You are unharmed Miss Evans except for the loss of your hair so you may go now." She quickly dismissed Lily and then turned to Snape too. "You have a nasty cut, Mr. Snape." Then she tapped the wound with her wand and bandages quickly wrapped around his arm. "You may go to the Hospital Wing." She said.  
  
As soon as Snape left, she spoke: "You, Mr. Potter, are the most fortunate since you have neither scratch nor bruise from the fight. It was exceptionally lucky of you that Miss Evans saved your head just in time. Both of your House Heads will be informed of your actions, so expect detentions." She paused and her weary eyes bored deeply in him. She spoke again but now in a more sad voice. "I am very, very disappointed in you, Potter. You made me think you are capable of thinking before acting. But what did you do? You let your heart rule over your head. Due to your impertinence, you could've caused Evans' death. Do you want that to happen, Potter?" she asked him.  
  
Shamefacedly, he replied: "No, Professor."  
  
"No. You said no and I take your word for it. You might be wondering why I am reproaching only you instead of including Snape. It is because I have hope in you. Snape has something which will lead him to darker ways later in his life. You could still learn from this. Now, look up and stand in front of that mirror, sir." She commanded him.  
  
He walked slowly towards the full-length mirror. There was nothing special about it. He could still see his same old self. He felt an icy hand taking hold of his shoulder.  
  
"Now, some students have been complaining that you have the habit of cursing the people who annoy you and just for the fun of it. Now, you see yourself standing on the mirror. You always bully other people you know weaker than you. Don't you have a conscience. I must admit your head is very inflated, given the fact that you pride yourself in you accomplishments. What if you put yourself into their shoes? Have you ever wondered what they feel each time you take advantage of their weakness? Of course not. Now, what do you see?"  
  
"I see myself and you holding my shoulder." He replied matter-of-factly.  
  
"Really? Look again." She advised.  
  
He did look at the reflection and slowly his whole body changed gradually until he was Severus Snape. What the heck! He touched his hair. It wasn't the usual light and standing but long, limp and oily. Even his nose was longer. He was Snape! He thought frantically. That cant be! It was like his nightmare on the Shrieking Shack.  
  
"Oh yes. Of course. It's like MY nightmare." Said Sinclair.  
  
Or was it Sinclair?  
  
She had hazel eyes and jet-black hair and the hair that stood in all directions and the eyeglasses. She's was a he? She was him! She was James Potter.  
  
"No, this can't be real!" Snape, rather James, shouted.  
  
"Oh? But it feels and looks very real to me." Sinclair turned James replied. "Face me, Snivelly." He taunted.  
  
"I'm not Snivelly! And I'm especially not Snape. I'm James Potter"  
  
"Why are you so sure of that, Snivel-freak?" the other taunted and in a blink turned into a handsome stag. Then into a boy again. "See, I'm the real thing."  
  
Dread filled him. What was happening? She knew of his secret! But how!?  
  
"You're defenseless. I have your wand, Snape. See? And I'm going to jinx you. What do you want to be? A frog? Perhaps a worm. Preferably a slimeball, being true to your nature. No! Being a freak is better! How would you like to have a tail? Or perhaps you want to have eyes on your ass so you can see what's behind you? The latter seems better. Jinx in the count of three! One-two-thr-"  
  
"No!" he felt himself scream and made a wild grab for his wand arm. And he opened his eyes.  
  
He was still standing in front of the mirror. Still had that crazy untamable hair, hazel eyes and eyeglasses. He was still James Potter. And Professor Sinclair, standing behind him, hand still on his shoulder, was still herself. He let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"Now, do you know what it feels to be one of your victims, James Potter? Think twice again before doing some hex or curse on a person. Or else." she trailed.  
  
He glance at the mirror and saw once more that he was Snape. Then he shook his head and everything was ordinary.  
  
"But I don't think it is enough to convince you, Potter. You're dismissed ." she sent him away and led him outside her office.  
  
Shaking, the door shut behind him. It was a relief to be himself again. A new fear settled in him as well as some kind of respect to his professor. It was as if she was capable of mind-reading. How did she do that illusion, he wondered. But his wondering was stopped short as a figure blocked his way.  
  
"Evans." He said to her coolly, flashing a smile at her.  
  
Instead of rushing to him to hug him or smile back at the least, she stared coldly at him.  
  
"Why? What's the matter?" he asked her worriedly.  
  
She took a step forward. "I saved your life Potter when I pushed you a while ago. But you did not realize that. You even pushed me and swore at me instead of thanking me. You said 'Don't fucking interfere with my fights'. If I hadn't interfered with that fight of yours, there would not have been another fight. I thank you for saving my life once. And now, we're even. All debts have been repaid. I owe you nothing and I don't want to speak to you ever again." She told him angrily, voice freezing cold, and stared daggers straight into his amber eyes, now startled, then past him, her arm brushing his slightly.  
  
There was one word to describe exactly what he felt when he watched Lily Evans walk haughtily away from him.  
  
Devastated. 


End file.
